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How Do You See 2020?

01.09.2020 by Tracy Stella //

This is the not the piece I thought I’d be writing when the Facets team selected our topic. However, God knew. He is fully aware of each of our situations, and I am reminded of this as I navigate these waters, the ones I wish I weren’t swimming in.  Through it all, I know the Lord is FAITHFUL.  That is a certainty, an anchor I can cling to.  And I do.

I was going to bypass selecting a word for the new year (a word to live by and guide me like a compass in case you are unfamiliar with the idea).  I felt like everyone was doing it now, and I’m not one who wants to do what everyone else is doing.  I also don’t want to get into a spiritual rut, and just do something because I’ve always done it a certain way.  In my opinion, that’s how faith becomes stale and flat.  God is alive and vibrant and always up to new things.

However.

However, God began stirring my heart in late December to select a word as my compass for 2020.  I’ll spare you all the details of how we landed on the word “Joy”, because those aren’t all that important to anyone other than myself.  So, my primary word for the year is “Joy”, and I believe God gave me a secondary word “Refreshment”. He gave me a picture of a book title where there’s a primary, larger title coupled with a secondary, smaller one.  I believe refreshment is a byproduct of joy, so it makes sense to me that God would couple them together.

It might look something like this:

JOY

Refreshment

 

A generous person will prosper;

   whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.─Proverbs 11:25 NIV

I really liked this verse when God pointed it out to me.  I could wrap my brain around the idea of refreshing others.  I have learned it really IS a blessing.  In God’s goodness, He shows us how wonderful we feel when we do good unto others.  There’s so much self-absorption in the world (and I’m not immune to it myself).  But when I remember the goodness of the Lord, how truly good He has been to me, and I allow myself to be a part of His plan, it’s beautiful.  Magnificent (not because of anything I get to do) …. Please don’t mistake what I’m saying.  I’m sharing because God blesses US so much when we do.  Even in the hard moments, like this one if I’m being honest, He is blessing me.  So, my hope is that God uses me to refresh you, and in the refreshing, I too am refreshed.  Because I need it. And He knows it!

Recently, I received heart breaking news someone precious to me died of a drug overdose.  The news took my breath away.  I went into a state of shock and grief threatened to overwhelm my heart at the futility of it.  I couldn’t process what had happened to this precious one in that moment.  I had to put it in a box and place it on a shelf with the help of Jesus.  Jesus, you know I can’t engage in this right now.  Please help me to keep the emotions at bay until I can safely process them with You.

God is faithful. He answered my prayer.  Thank You, Jesus!  He gave me His grace to engage in activities I had to take care of (for hours and hours).  About 6 hours after hearing the news, I was finally able to let myself consider what happened.  I pulled over in a school parking lot, not even waiting until I arrived home.  Slowly, I turned the valve of emotion on.  Like a torrent, tears flooded.  I’d come prepared.  There was a box of tissues in my passenger seat.  I knew when I finally let myself “go there” I’d need them.

The tragedy of her death broke my heart (still does).  I consider her family, her children, and all the things she dreamed of doing.  I got the privilege and honor of walking closely alongside this precious one for the better part of a year almost every day. I heard her story, the hard bits, the things she’d had to overcome. She was brave. She was special. She learned how much the Lord loves her and received healing from the One with the most tender of touch.  She overcame much. She learned to grieve, a treasured moment too sacred to share publicly, but I got to see God at work in her life.  Powerfully.  And it was beautiful.

As I consider one of my treasured memories of her, I am reminded of the importance of grieving a loss in season.  So, I give myself permission to grieve.  It’s healthy. And then I search out Joy. Because I have to do that too.  She’d want God to do good things with it, and so I will.  I’ll fight my way through it.  I am fighting my way through it.

God gave me the word “Joy” before her death, knowing I’d need to seek Joy, to search it out, and to use it to find my way back to Him and to hope.

Joy isn’t the absence of sorrow.  It’s a choice. Especially in times like these.

Until now you have not asked for anything in my name.  Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.─John 14:24

This was advice Jesus gave to the disciples, preparing them for the grief they’d experience at His death and all they’d endure. I believe it is for us as well.  Part of the choosing of joy can only be sourced in the name of Jesus.  When we can’t get to that place on our own, we can turn to Him.  We ask. We receive. And our joy is complete even in our grief.

Sourcing Joy on our good days is easy.  It’s in the dark days that we need Him to hold our hand and walk us into the radiant light of His presence which will always lead us closer to Him and point us to every fruit of the spirit, including joy.  It’s part of our “DNA”. It’s in us if we are believers.  We have love, JOY, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, & self-control (Gal 5:22).  Through prayer, God helps us access Joy.  Sometimes, it’s supernatural.

How do I know? He’s done it for me.  He’s DOING IT for me.

So, how DO I see 2020?

My vision blurred.  My ears rang.  Head throbbed. All my senses impacted in early 2020 with the horrible news of someone precious leaving this world far too soon, someone who had so much potential, someone who struggled (as we all do in some way or another).

Yet.

Yet there is victory.  Her story isn’t over.  God is using hers to help write others’ stories too.  I know He won’t waste what happened to her.  I’ve asked Him to wring every ounce of good He possibly can from the tragedy of her death.  Somehow, some way, He will use it for good (even though her death is not good, not at all).

Maybe you are reading this and you struggle with addiction. Get help! You have so much more to do and you CAN have victory with Christ’s help.  Don’t struggle alone.  It’s a dangerous place to live.  Surround yourself with God’s love, healthy people who have traveled the same path and are standing on the other side (NA, AA, Celebrate Recovery – whatever works best for you), and find people to encourage you on your recovery journey.  Fight!  Because your life MATTERS!  People will MISS YOU if you aren’t here.  FIGHT!  You have it in you!  Don’t give up on yourself or your future.  You are too important to this world. Whatever healing you need to do, let God do it with you.  There’s a reason for addiction. No one chooses it. No one.  Whatever the hurt is beneath, don’t bury it. Look at it in 2020 and let God give you a clearer vision of what He has for you.  Bring it into the light of God’s love and let Him heal it. If you need professional help, seek it. Don’t ever be ashamed. We all need help sometimes.  All.  It’s what we’re supposed to do.  God calls us to love one another.  Helping each other …. Well, that’s part of God’s plan.  If you feel alone, know that you NEVER are.  God is closer than a breath. He won’t let you down.  His love will meet you right where you are.  He’s been in bars, strip clubs, prisons, hotel rooms, and in a house that feels lonely because you’re the only one in it.  His presence isn’t just for church.  His church is everywhere, not confined to a building.  Remember that.

So, how DO I see 2020?

How Do You See 2020? (Tracy)The fog clears and lifts. It doesn’t stay cloudy forever when we fight back with Joy.  So, I CHOOSE to see 2020 through eyes of Joy. It’s what God has called me to. He calls us all to Joy.  (And this joyful photo was taken before Christmas, before I knew I needed a smile.)

Why is Joy so important?  I believe God placed a few ideas on my heart as I navigate these waters. He wants me to know this, but I believe He wants you to know these things too.

Joy is our Comfort

God doesn’t want us mired down in our grief, whatever the loss. It could be the death of someone precious, it could be the loss of a job, the loss of a dream, etc.  There are a lot of things that feel as if they are snatched away too soon.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.─Matthew 5:5 NIV

God’s word says we are blessed as we mourn. Why? Because God comforts us in our loss.  He sees our heartbreak. He sees our brokenness, and He gives us the gift of His presence in special ways.  I always feel closest to Him when I need Him most.  I see Him more easily because I’m seeking Him more earnestly. Where are You in this, God? I need to see You.  I need to know You are near.  Show me evidence of You. I need You to minister to me.

 And He does.

Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy.─Psalm 126:5 NKJV (emphasis mine)

We reap a harvest of joy as we allow God to comfort us.  Joy is one of the tools He uses to effectively minister to our hearts, helping us to hold our head up and keep going.  So, when you find yourself wondering, Why are you so downcast, oh my soul? (Psalm 43:5)  Pray that God ministers to you through His ministry of joy which brings comfort beyond our comprehension.

Joy is our Peace

When we look at the fruit of the spirit, we see peace positioned directly after joy.

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives:  love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!─Galatians 5:22-23 NLT (emphasis mine)

I don’t believe anything is accidental in Scripture, including the proximity of joy to peace.  Perhaps peace is best possible out of the overflow of joy.  The good news is that if you look closely at the verse, God is the One producing it.  When we ask for His help, He’ll help us access it.  Some days we just won’t naturally have Joy in our hearts. It’s especially in those times we should seek His Joy so we can walk in peace.

The enemy has an all-out war waged against our peace.  He’s trying to render us ineffective.  We can fight back with Joy.  Need more assurance this “Joy thing” isn’t all on you?  Let’s see what this scripture has to say.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.─Romans 15:13 NIV (emphasis mine)

Our God of hope will fill us with all joy and peace.  Our part? Trust in Him.

Okay, God.  We don’t always understand, but we will trust You.  Please fill us with all joy and peace.  Let us walk in joy and the peace of knowing You are never caught off guard by our circumstances.  We find peace in Your presence.  It’s also where we find fullness of joy.  Forevermore.  (Psalm 16:11)

Joy is our Calling

Pray that I may be kept safe…so that I may come to you with joy, by God’s will and in your company be refreshed.─Romans 15-31-32 NIV (emphasis mine)

The Apostle Paul prayed he would be kept safe so he could carry out His assignment.  Paul’s desire was to come to others WITH JOY BY GOD’S WILL.  God has assignments for each of us to complete.  In part, that is our calling.  But we are also called to do it with joy by God’s will.  How we do what God has set before us is just as important as what He sets before us.  When we spend time with others on mission, we help one another.  When one falls down, the other lifts him or her up.  That’s by God’s design.  I have been refreshed by others in my moments of weakness, even knowing they are praying for me helps beyond measure.

Let’s be that refreshment for one another.  Let’s come to one another with Joy by God’s will in what we do each day.  None of us knows what another person is going through.  God does.  When He calls us to a person, there is always purpose in it─for them, for us.  Let’s refresh one another with Joy. The world is weary. We are called to be different.

You may be wondering how we can fulfill this calling of Joy when, sometimes, it’s incredibly hard.  Keep reading. =)

Joy is our Strength

How do we do “the hard thing” and exhibit joy when, if it were left to us, that wouldn’t be our disposition based on circumstances?

Well, we don’t have to be strong enough.  We just need to know the One who is.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.─2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NIV (emphasis mine)

Well, we don’t have to be strong enough.  We just have to know the One who is.  And when we do, He’ll move mountains to show us we are far stronger than we think.  Neither Hercules nor the Hulk have anything on the power of the Holy Spirit who guides us into His power to do immeasurably more than we think or imagine.

Joy isn’t some silly, slap happy notion.  God wants us to fight for our Joy because it is our strength.

This day is holy to the Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.─Nehemiah 8:10b NIV (emphasis mine)

I suppose, in part, that is why God has called me to notice and document something that brings me joy each and every day this year.  Noticing things big and small that bring me joy will strengthen me for the journey He has ahead.  I’ve already noticed a sunrise, my silly dog bringing me his toys (incessantly), a smile from my sister, a scented candle burning in my office, a song that comes on at the perfect time that ministers to my heart, and that’s just what I’ve seen so far.

What we look for is what we will see.  So, I’m on a mission to see Joy.  Even when it’s hard.  Especially when it’s hard.

Joy is our Witness

Joy is at the heart of God’s plan for human beings. The reason for this is worth pondering awhile: Joy is at the heart of God himself.  We will never understand the significance of joy in human life until we understand its importance to God.  I suspect that most of us seriously underestimate God’s capacity for joy.(1)

When I read this in John Ortberg’s The Life You’ve Always Wanted, Spiritual Disciplines For Ordinary People, it made me pause to consider God’s capacity for joy.  Have you ever thought about it?  I really hadn’t until that moment.

People who don’t know God often are afraid of Him. They gauge Him as this dour judge handing out sentences of misery and thou shalt nots.  If only they truly knew the desires of His heart, they would weep.  There is SO MUCH GOODNESS in God we can’t fathom. The world can’t contain it. Heck, if I only look at MY LIFE and see His goodness in it and how much joy He has brought my way, its abundance wouldn’t be contained.  And that doesn’t mean I’ve lived some sheltered, perfect life. What it does mean is that He has implanted great joy in my life, even in the midst of hard things.

Some people close to me think God is angry at them (or could be).  Again, if they only knew His capacity for joy (and love, mercy, grace, and every other good thing we can think of) they’d sit under a broom tree, throw dust on their heads, and grieve all the time they’d lost with the Lord, of knowing Him and His capacity to bring them great joy.

Well, what if we are the way for them to see that?  We are, don’t you know?  When people observe us accessing the joy of the Lord in a difficult season, it says something. It says something about our Lord.  People know different when they see it.  Don’t we want to look different?

I want someone to know Jesus because they knew me and saw His power pulsating through my life.  Because Joy in times of trial is supernatural.  Only God generates that.  Our light shines brightest in the dark.

As products of God’s creation, creatures made in his image, we are to reflect God’s fierce joy in life.  (1)

Joy is our Weapon

If you ask me, there’s a reason the enemy comes so hard after our Joy.  It’s related to the above.  He is fully aware how fragrant our Joy smells to the world, to those who don’t know it.  They may know happiness, but Joy, that’s something altogether different.

The enemy doesn’t want us to be Ambassadors for Christ, so he’ll present situations that feel unbearable sometimes.  But that’s a lie. With God all things are possible. We are never alone, and we are most visibly God’s WARRIORS when we wield Joy like a weapon that slashes through the darkness.

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows.  But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”─John 16:33 NLT (emphasis mine)

God has already overcome the world.  It’s done.  The enemy has been defeated.  And when we remember that, it’s a much quicker journey to Joy.

He’ll try to steal it. Let’s not let him!

Instead, let’s use the Joy of the Lord as a weapon for kingdom advancement.  Let’s take back some territory from the darkness.  Let’s make the loss of precious ones like I just lost be the motivation to say, “No more.”  Let’s show the world our brilliant lights for Christ, because they NEED to know Him.  I can’t imagine trying to process this without His love, comfort and grace that points me to His joy even in the darkest moments.  Don’t we want the world to know that too?  We have been given a gift, the presence of God to meet us in our moments of need.  Let’s help others see why walking with Jesus is different, why it matters, and why they might want to consider it for themselves.

Faith is an individual journey for each of us.  We can be people pointing to reasons to pursue Christ, or we can be a reason not to.

I know God wants us to illuminate the world.  Let’s plug into His joy and make some advancements.  Let’s look a little different. For Him.

Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.”─John 8:12 NLT (emphasis mine)

Let’s follow Him and walk out of darkness. While we do, let’s help someone else into the light as well.

Joy is our Worship

Joy is worship.  When we feel otherwise, yet still choose to exhibit joy God sees our sacrifice.  Choosing joy doesn’t mean denying what happened or our associated feelings; we must deal with those with God’s help. It is healthy to process our wounds with the Lord.  But while we are dealing with those feelings and allowing the Lord to point us to the hope, healing, & abundance of life He has for us, He asks us to do so with Joy.  In that, He sees our sacrifice.  It’s an offering precious and beautiful unto Him.

One of the most beautiful ways to exhibit joy is through a worship song.  The psalmist points us to just that point.

Sing joyfully to the LORD, you righteous;

            it is fitting for the upright to praise him.

Praise the LORD with the harp;

            make music with the ten-stringed lyre.

Sing to him a new song;

            play skillfully, and shout for joy.─Psalm 33:1-3 NIV (emphasis mine)

 

Sometimes when I’m at a loss for what to do, I sing. I surrender to the song and let God show me His sweetness.  It never fails that He plays the perfect soundtrack to HELP ME play skillfully and shout for joy.  The soundtrack He has played over the last several days has too many songs to note, but they all pointed me to Him, to healing, to hope, all while acknowledging my humanness and the grief such a loss of life can hit us with.

Sometimes we just need to sing in faith. He does the rest.  Praise Jesus!

Here’s a song God had on my playlist these last few days. I Raise A Hallelujah by Bethel Music, Jonathon & Melissa Helser.

Maybe you need to hear it too.  And don’t forget to “sing a little louder”; I’d say that counts as shouting for joy.

Joy is our Salvation

What saved me from utter despair about the tragedy of the precious one’s loss of life is this:  I know she was saved.  I went back and watched her baptism video.  Here’s a transcript.

This precious one was asked, Do you love Jesus with all your heart?

Precious one shook her head affirmatively, Yes

This precious one was asked, Do you accept Jesus as the leader of your life, your Lord?

Precious one nodded again, Yes!

This precious one was asked, Do you accept Jesus as the Savior, your Savior?

Precious one shook her head so that her ponytail bobbed up and down in agreement, Yes!

 And then it was proclaimed, We baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit as she was dipped into the baptismal and was brought up a Child of God with full access to His kingdom inheritance.

 There was a great group of witnesses who broke out in jubilant celebration here on earth and in heaven that day.  And I know she was greeted at the gates of heaven by more celebration once she went on to be with the Lord just a few days ago.

As I watched her baptism video and paused it at the moment she first came up out of the water, I am reminded of what Joy looks like.  It’s written all over her face!  It’s beautiful!

It gives me great comfort to know that she is not dead; this is not good-bye. I know how much she loved Jesus. I heard her heart in that many times. God has reassured me she is snuggled safely in His arms where she has no more tears, no more sorrows. She is finally at peace.

Thank you for that gift, Lord. It gives me the greatest Joy of all to know she was saved and that she gets to spend all of eternity with You!

Until I see you again, precious one, celebrate with Joy your time with Jesus.  We’ll have a party in heaven together with all the other saints who love and miss you already!

So, how DO I see 2020?

This morning, God gifted me with a beautiful sunrise. I looked and saw glorious hues of pink and purple on the horizon.

 

 

This is the day the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it. ─Psalm 118:24

 

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

Signature Image: Tracy Stella

1“The Life You’ve Always Wanted: Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People.” The Life You’ve Always Wanted: Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People, by John Ortberg et al., Zondervan, 2015, pp. 61–63.

Categories // Faith, Joy/Humor, Tracy Stella's Perspective Tags // addiction, Drug Overdose, Galatians 5:22-23, grief, John 14:24, Joy, Joy is our comfort, Joy is our peace, Matthew 5:5, prayer, Proverbs 11:25, Refreshment, sorrow

God’s Resurrecting Power: From Death to Life

04.25.2017 by Kim Findlay //

 

We’ve been talking about God’s resurrecting power here at Facets of Faith this month. Tracy and Jen shared their perspectives earlier this month and you don’t want to miss them. Now it’s my (Kim’s) turn. Ready?

I don’t like to feel out of control. That feeling of powerlessness, an inability to influence or change circumstances or, to be honest, even people around me.

Call me a control freak, with this desire to order and maintain my world. These feelings of powerlessness that sneak up on me, but like everyone, there’s a story behind these impulses. I know all too well what it feels like to be utterly helpless, completely powerless, and it scares the life right out of me.

It happened one day about twelve years ago. I left my home thinking all was normal, as my every day life could possibly be. I forgot something on my way to work so, in my typically optimistic fashion, I turned my car around and determined this was simply more time to listen to a message from one of our pastors.

Little did I know what was happening as I turned my car back that morning. Little did I know the scene I was about to drive upon would change everything. My family. My home. My life. Nothing would be the same.

Fire poured from the home I left just twelve minutes earlier. My home that still held my precious Emma and her daddy.

I remember standing on the driveway feeling utterly powerless, the crushing weight of what I lacked to stop the scene unfolding before me. The fear that snatched my breath away. The horror that my daughter may have breathed her last. The crushing reality that my greatest fear just became my living nightmare.

My heart shriveled up and threatened to die that day fire destroyed everything. But somehow, in some way, it continued to beat and pump living-giving blood. It continued to beat as the doctor told me Emma died. It continued to beat as her daddy struggled against pneumonia and third-degree burns. It continued to beat as I stood next to her little white coffin and stroked her tender cheek that no longer held the warmth of life.

My heart betrayed me as it continued to beat and pump, reminding me that life continued on even though death made its unwelcome departure with my little girl.

Powerless.

Never as a mom, as a woman, as a person did I feel so utterly out of control. I never expected this. I feared it. I prayed against it. I never expected to bury my daughter. And that weight of grief, those unexpected blows as wave after wave pummeled against my wounded body caused me to gasp for each life-sustaining breath.

How do you survive the dark days your deepest fears come alive? Maybe you, too, have walked the treacherous road of losing a child or a spouse, your health or your job. How do you find your footing when you’ve been knocked to your knees? How do you choose life when all you taste is death?

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” Psalm 34:18, NLT

I clung to the One who not only gives life, but who resurrects it. The One who takes dead, lifeless things and creates life by breathing into dry bones (Ezekial 37:5). The One who conquered my greatest fear with a single crushing blow as He hung on the cross and triumphed over death. I was powerless, without control, but I knew the One who loves me, who not only has power but is the source of power, and I held on to Him for dear life. Literally.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13, NLT

His is the power that fed thousands of people with few loaves and a couple of fish. His is the power that silenced the seas and called a dead man from the grave. His is the power that healed diseases and stopped years of bleeding. His is the power that conquered death once and for all.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9, NLT

That power . . . that resurrecting power changes everything. And it’s not just for then, those days Jesus walked the earth or as his disciples performed miracles. God’s resurrecting power that rose Jesus from the grave is available for us today. Now.

His resurrecting power heals the deepest wounds and shines bright in the darkest of places. His resurrecting power declares goodness despite brokenness, and offers hope in despair. His resurrecting power breathes life, restores shattered hearts, and revives lost dreams.

He saved me. His resurrecting power revived me. His power gives me strength on the days I miss my girl the most and shifts my gaze from all I lost to all He has in store for me. His resurrection power breathes new life, life that I enjoy and embrace all the days my feet will walk this earth. And He gives me hope, hope that death and destruction do not have the final say. He does. And that same power He gives me is available for you. Will you choose life?

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,” Ephesians 3:16, NLT

How have you experienced God’s resurrecting power in your life? Join the conversation and leave a comment or jump over to our Facebook page to share there.

Categories // Faith, Kim Findlay's Perspective, Resurrection Power Tags // Broken Heart, childloss, Death, grief, healing, hope, LIfe, power, sorrow

The Most Difficult Yes

10.18.2016 by Kim Findlay //

It’s my (Kim’s) turn to talk about saying yes to God here at Facets of Faith. Tracy and Jen have shared earlier this month so be sure to check out their answers!

1

I choose to trust you. No matter what, if she lives or dies, I trust you.

The words tumbled out before their impact registered. The doctor had just delivered devastating news: my youngest daughter was going to die from a fire that destroyed our home.

My worst nightmare came alive as I stared fear and death square in the face. I had no idea what to expect after that moment. Life shifted, tilted, and threw me completely off-balance. But even so, I made a life-changing decision that day. I said yes to God while I plunged head-first into the dark shadow death cast on my life.

Over the next eleven years my life plummeted deeper into darkness and sorrow. The broken pieces of my heart cut deep. The broken pieces of her daddy’s heart sliced deeper until our rocky marriage finally broke. The fallout from those years altered every aspect of my life —nothing escaped unscathed.

So why did I say yes to Him? If you had asked me that moment in the hospital, I might have said He was going to miraculously change everything. People were praying. Others declared a full healing. The path before me would turn straight and smooth. I wanted my happily-ever-after “God-moment” where He rescued Emma and saved us from utter destruction.

That happily-ever-after never came, at least not Hollywood’s version.

Here’s what did happen when I said yes to God.


I experienced His Presence.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” Psalm 34:18, NLT

As I traveled through the darkness, I sensed God’s presence near. Conflicting feelings swirled inside —pain and joy, sorrow and hope. Gentle reminders that heaven was near but not in its fullness. Suffering and brokenness mark this world, but when Jesus came to earth, heaven broke through and marked those who love Him through the gift of the Holy Spirit.


I experienced His peace.

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33, NLT

Peace is not something that can be fabricated, not the true abiding peace that gives strength and perseverance to the weary. Peace is a gift God gives when we say yes to Him, and I felt it. I experienced it. His peace calmed and sustained me through the bleakest moments. His peace strengthened me as He developed resilience within me.


I experienced hope.

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13, NLT

Emma died. My sweet girl experienced life on earth for five years, and now experiences the glory of heaven for eternity. I still long for her, but I have hope that this life and this world is not the end. One day I will see her again.

But I also have hope that my heartbreak isn’t wasted. That God didn’t forget about me, make a mistake, or leave me to navigate the dark valley of death and sorrow alone.

Nor does He forget you.

“We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.” 2 Corinthians 4:8-9, NLT


I experienced His comfort and offer it to others.

He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” 2 Corinthians 1:4, NLT

Comfort came through the gift of friends and family. It came through the whispers of the Holy Spirit, reminding me that I was seen and heard and loved. Comfort came through tears that were shed by me and with those who love me. Comfort comes every time someone remembers my sweet girl and speaks her name out loud.


I experienced His goodness.

Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living.”  Psalm 27:13, NLT

Nothing about my daughter’s death was good. I’ve missed out on eleven years of birthdays and hugs, kisses and conversations. By now she’d have her driver’s license and maybe even a crush or two.

And yet God. When I said yes to Him and willingly embraced the crushing and pressing, He opened my eyes to see His goodness. I looked for it, and He revealed it. By saying yes, He opened my heart to receive His healing and blessing, even through horrific circumstances. By saying yes, He opened my soul to receive heavenly wonders and mercies that defy this temporary world.

I’m nothing special to have endured this suffering. All I did was say yes to God, allowed Him to sift and shape my soul; He did (and still does) the heavy hauling. But by saying yes, even this most difficult yes to God, my voice joins the chorus that sings His praise, giving Him glory so that others may see all He has done and be amazed.

And so can yours.

I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed.  They will put their trust in the Lord.” Psalm 40:1-3, NLT

Are you willing to say yes to God, even to the most difficult things? He will meet you there if you do.

Join the conversation this week on our Facebook page and share how you’re saying the most difficult yes. I’d love to hear what you have to say.

Kim Signature

Categories // Life, Say Yes Tags // child loss, Faith, God's goodness, grief, hope, resilience, sorrow, trusting God

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