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Do They Know They Are Loved?

03.04.2020 by Tracy Stella //

I (Tracy) am looking forward to seeing how God uses each of the posts from the  FACETS team to enlarge your understanding of how deeply you are loved. There is no greater truth that has the power to transform your life and the lives of others. You won’t want to miss what God puts on Jennifer’s, Megan’s, and our special guest Judy Maldonado’s hearts. We’d love to hear a report of what God does in your heart as you  open His love letters to you each week this month. We invite you to let His love greet you across these pages. He pursues you.

03 2020 Do they know they are loved? T StellaWe want to think our brothers and sisters in Christ know they are loved. We understand the world might not get the height and depth of God’s love for them. But our brothers and sisters in Christ?  Surely. Surely, they know at the core of who they are that they are loved.  They are forgiven. They are righteous. They are holy and redeemed. They have the deposit of the Holy Spirit ministering, filling, teaching, comforting, cleansing, purifying, sanctifying, and so much more.  They know they are loved. Right?

Right?

Sometimes, we can say the words without really believing them, or believing them for ourselves.  Jesus loves you.  We may even say it over ourselves, but do we let it sink deep into our hearts?  Do we let our Father’s hands etch it upon our minds, so we never doubt it?

Or do we only believe those things are true for the “good Christians”, the ones who seem to have all their spiritual ducks in a row?

Here’s the truth: if you accepted Christ, you are a good Christian. You are good enough to receive His love. He is not disappointed in you, precious one. He loves you. He wants nothing more than to help you, to heal you, to make you whole.

We are all being transformed into His image.  None of us has arrived. That’s not what this faith walk is about.

Do we wear God’s love like armor to protect us from the enemy’s fiery darts?  We need to. Love is a weapon. Jesus wants His warriors to wear His love. Perfect love casts out all fear.  (See 1 John 4:18)

Afraid you are unlovable? Perfect love casts that thought over the boat and into the abyss.  No one is beyond the reach of God’s love.

Maybe we didn’t do this life perfectly – even after getting saved and we think, “Well that’s it. God can’t use me now. I screwed up royally.”

Maybe we never even got to the mindset where we thought God could use us in the first place. Yes, we got saved. But maybe we think it was by the skin of our teeth, like if God really knew, if those people over there really knew me, they wouldn’t think I was worthy, worthy of God’s love, God’s grace, their fellowship, their friendship, or serving any kingdom purpose.

God knows what He’s getting in each of us. And He accepts us anyhow, whatever our condition. He’s not surprised by who we are.  He’s far more interested in who we are becoming. You are not a disappointment to Him. He is your biggest Champion. He is your Companion. Let His love walk you through every season. Let His love greet you on the good days. Let His love minister to you on the dark days when you wished things looked different.

He is present in both.

And He won’t leave you, especially in your darkest hour.

It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m writing this post, pondering whether the people all around me know they are loved.  It’s the day of all things red – flowers, hearts, and celebration of love.  Christ’s redemptive blood─Love’s greatest sacrifice.

And yet I ponder the fact someone left this world too soon, because in his darkest moments he didn’t fully understand the depths of God’s love for him. Depression doesn’t see beyond today’s struggle. It lies to us saying, “There’s no hope for the future.”

A funeral on Valentine’s Day is hard.

That causes me to pause, a long pause to reflect. Why? How? How can this be?

How can someone who loved the Lord so deeply not know how deeply the Lord loved him?  It breaks my heart for him before he breathed his very last breath. It breaks my heart for his family. It breaks my heart for what the world will now miss, because this man left the world too soon.

It’s not any less heartbreaking when someone who doesn’t know Christ leaves this world too soon. But I could at least rationalize in my head that without Jesus this world just gets too hard sometimes. Without Him to carry the weight of our burdens when they become too much, they are too much.

I know that from my own story. It’s tragedies like this that churn my memory. Before I knew Christ, I hit rock bottom, a few times.  Life was hard, as it  sometimes can be. And without the Lord, hard things can hit us like a ton of bricks. Like a wrecking ball, they nearly take us out.

When I was in my early 20’s I was sexually violated at a party (I can’t bring myself to type the word for what it really was, but you can fill in the word, I’m sure.) If I can’t type the word 30+ years later, you might imagine how I handled it back then. I suppressed the memory. I shoved it into a dark corner of my brain, because I couldn’t deal with it.

The only problem with that logic is that it isn’t helpful. At all. A buried wound isn’t healed. If not dealt with, it festers.  And that’s what it did.

My heart and brain couldn’t deal with the pain I tried to cover up with the equivalent of an emotional band-aid. Not dealt with, the pain dealt with me.

That young woman who I have such compassion for now, at the hardness of that trespass against me, couldn’t cover over the pain with her suck it up buttercup skills.  Instead, I attempted to take my own life. Depression and grief tried to overtake me.

But God!

God’s mercy sent someone to break a door down and literally saved me.  God’s love sent help. I didn’t know Him, but He knew me — even back then, even in the midst of my hot mess of a life.

Fast forward to my 40’s and I found myself ready to sink from the weight of severe depression. I’d lost my marriage, my home, my career, my sense of identity in almost every way.  On the very darkest day, I was ready to leave. I was just too weary. I wasn’t a wimp, but I was tired of fighting to hang on. I’d given up hope.

God’s mercy sent a woman to my front door the day I had decided I was done. God disagreed. He wanted me to believe. Believe in Him. Believe in myself. Believe there was hope beyond the darkness of that day.

And there was.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”─Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

These aren’t just any words. If they are familiar to you, don’t let their familiarity steal the powerful, transforming, hopeful truth they possess. There is a bright future ahead for you, even if you don’t see it in this exact moment.

God’s mercy reaching for us tells me how much He genuinely loves us.  His mercy reaches for us all; I believe it with all my heart.  Cling to Him and the hope only He can give.  His love changes lives.  I know that full well, and He wants that for all of us.

Do you know you are loved that much too? You are you know!

In both of those scenarios I didn’t know Christ. I didn’t know the depth of His love for me. And when the world hits hard like a tsunami, we can nearly be washed away at sea.

But here’s the thing.

Once we are saved, the same thing can happen. We aren’t invincible.  We need God’s love, especially when we want to do great things for God’s kingdom — and we are.

I think of this man who left us too soon. He wasn’t perfect any more than you or I. But He did love Jesus. He was Christ’s ambassador.  He was a worshipper. He was a warrior. He prayed for healing for me, and I received it. He was a vessel for God’s power and love.

How does someone who embodies God’s love to others not know it for himself?

How does someone who has passion and zeal for Christ not find the strength to hang on? It’s the very hardest of questions, and I don’t have an answer. It’s utterly heart breaking.

I think of all this world will miss out on and my eyes well with tears.

I wonder, what is the point of this?

I wonder how God can work this to good.  I know His word says He works all things together for the good of those who love Him. (See Romans 8:28)

But how God?

How do you take this tragedy and make it into something good?

I don’t doubt You in that; I just can’t see it. But I do pray You reveal Your goodness. I pray You wring every ounce of good You can from this tragedy. Save lives. Open eyes. Reveal Your heart. Heal wounds. Bring revival.

I already saw evidence of God’s goodness at the funeral when this man’s son spoke. I wept at his courage, at his sharing of story, and the beautiful legacy of the love of Christ this man left in his children. I pray this son is one of God’s greatest warriors and that God use him in a mighty way, even as He already did today. I pray God continues to help him rise into the fullness of his calling and that He be a powerful and profound voice that rises up against the darkness. That God’s light would shine brilliantly through him, even as we saw today. In Jesus’ name!

To do the hard thing, I hope this son knows he lived out Scripture poignantly today. Well done good and faithful servant. Well done! You honored your father, and you blessed everyone who got to hear how he shaped your life.

I wonder why I’m writing this post and I think it’s to remind us, none of us is immune.

We all need God.

We all need each other.

Jesus said…

“A new command I give you:  Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”─John 13:34-35 NIV

We can’t assume because someone knows Christ that he or she is okay.

We can’t assume because someone has a smile slathered across his or her face they are free from problems and don’t need our help.

We can’t assume because someone loves the Lord and even worships Him that he or she believes they are worthy of Christ’s love.  (They are. You are. I am. But we can’t assume anyone believes it.)

If God puts someone on your heart, pray for them.

If God asks you to reach out to someone, do so. You never know if that call will save someone’s life.

We are not called to be codependent, but we are co-heirs with Christ called to love one another.

If God is Immanuel, and He is, He knows. He knows every heart. He holds it tenderly in His hands. And He may call upon us to help that person keep his or her head above water.

God has given all believers the manifestation of the Holy Spirit to be used for the common good.

Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.─1 Corinthians 12:7 NIV

I’ve seen several tragedies in the Church recently, and I think God is saying, “Enough!”

Enough!

He wants us to see each other, really see each other. He wants us to be brave enough to sit with someone in his or her pain.  He wants us to love. Sacrificially. No more doing church. He wants us to be the Church.  We don’t do these things in our strength, but through the manifestation of the Spirit who deeply cares about the common good.

Mind you, I’m not blaming the Church for these things. I’m merely suggesting we remain attentive and observant to whom God places before us.  There is purpose in where He has planted us.  The people He has placed in our lives are there for a reason.

We never know what someone is really going through.  We don’t know who among us doesn’t believe that they are loved.

What if you and I are the people God is sending to show them they are?

When I went to this man’s funeral, I felt strongly like I was supposed to collect his precious bride’s face in my hands and see her, to give her the most tender of Christ’s touch in a very fragile time.  I prayed she would feel God’s love through my arms. I knew my hug wouldn’t be sufficient. I am not enough to comfort her in her grief.

But God is. His Spirit in me and you is the love His kids need.

I pray God’s Spirit manifests in each of us as we are an expression of His love.

There are days when I need it. And there are days when I can give it.

We should be very generous with each other as we give God’s love away. His love is better than any Valentine’s Day bouquet.  His love won’t die in a few days. His love is never failing, never ending.

But from everlasting to everlasting

The LORD’s love is with those who fear him,

And his righteousness with their children’s children─

─Psalm 103:17 NIV

That gives me comfort. For all eternity, God will love us. And not only that, but His righteousness extends to our children’s children.

Lord, if there is someone in this moment who is full of despair and doesn’t believe he or she is worthy of Your love, of life itself, I pray You stop them in their tracks right now, that You send a missionary of mercy – even if that is me in this very moment – to say there is a brighter day than what today’s dark shadow suggests. Hang on. Let God minister to you. Let Him fill you to overflowing with His love, healing, and redemption. I pray, Lord, You help anyone struggling with depression. Guide them to professionals and friends You have set in place to serve them. Let the help be kingdom-minded and attentive to Your voice, giving wisdom and discernment to bring healing and hope.  And, Lord, I do pray You would help us all to see the cries for help. I pray we don’t miss them. I pray You bring something good from this tragedy, Lord. I pray You strengthen the Church to be able to help minister to one another. We need Your guidance in every way, Lord. We can’t love well without Your leadership showing us how. So please show us. And help every eye reading this post receive Your love. Help us to receive Your love, Lord. Let us wear Your armor of love well. Let us be warriors for You, wielding love as a weapon against the fiery darts of the enemy. Let us be the belief when our brothers and sisters can’t and let them be that for us when we have weak moments ourselves. Keep us humble and submitted to You, Lord. Let none of us think just because we are Christian that we have to portray we have it all figured out, or we have it all together. Let us be receivers of your love, grace, and mercy, because we are desperate for it.  In Jesus’ name, amen!

If you have thoughts of suicide, please seek help. Reach out to your pastor or a Christian counselor. If you are in northern Illinois, there are 3 counseling practices I know and trust to serve you with the love of Christ. God loves you so much! Don’t doubt it for a single moment. This is His mercy reaching for you.

YOU ARE LOVED!

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

Signature: Tracy Stella

RESOURCE LINKS to Christian counseling practices in northern Illinois.

Catherine Hunter and Associates

Cherry Hill Counseling

Ken Gates and Associates

Categories // Do They Know They Are Loved?, Faith, Life Lessons, Tracy Stella's Perspective Tags // 1 Corinthians 12:7, 1 John 4:18, Death, Depression, Funeral, grief, Holy Spirit, hope, Jeremiah 29:11, John 13:34-35, Love, Love One Another, Mercy, Perfect Love, Psalm 103:17, Romans 8:28, Suicide

How Do We Grow in Intimacy?

07.02.2019 by Tracy Stella //

Welcome to FACETS of Faith, sweet friends!  Whether you are a new friend, or someone who has been with us on this journey for quite some time, I (Tracy) pray God meets you right where you are. It’s not by mistake God has brought you to these pages. I pray you feel God’s loving, warm embrace upon you as your eyes and heart absorb what He has for you.

Depending on your perspective, this topic might stir a host of emotion. You could be enthusiastic about the idea of intimacy.

If you’ve had tragedy in this area, you could be terrified at the mere mention of the word.  Please don’t check out if that’s you.  Hang in there. Let’s see what healing and restoration God desires to bring to your life. You are BRAVE, sweet one!

Perhaps you’re somewhere in the middle, a little indifferent to the thought of intimacy.  Maybe you’re unaware there’s a snag in beliefs you have long held as truth.  Maybe what you’ve believed for a lifetime isn’t what you once thought when you turn beliefs over and see what lies beneath.

How do we grow in intimacy? (Tracy Stella)Intimacy can be beautiful. Pure, sweet, love extended to our marital partner. The counterfeit, worldly version can leave us wanting more. Because there is more when we’re rooted and grounded in Christ’s love.

Truth be told, as we tossed out the idea of writing on this topic, some of the FACETS team was more than a little apprehensive. So, if that’s how you are feeling, know that you are not alone.  There’s comfort in that thought, right?

For me personally, I embrace the idea of intimacy when it means intellectual connection, when it means experience of fun things together, but sexual intimacy stirs up a whole pot of feelings that, in some regard, my initial internal response is to run.

Life experience used to tell me men wanted one thing and my job was to give it to them.  I deeply desired someone to love me, but struggled with the idea I was even worthy of love.  The more years under my belt, the more deeply engrained those lies became. I grew to believe I was only as valuable as how I made the other person feel.   And because I allowed my misguided attempts at love to guide my decisions, sadly, it was a self-fulfilling prophesy.  Very often I attracted the wrong type of man, the one who only wanted to use me for what I could give him and then move on.

Not everyone in my life fell into that category, but many did.

This internal belief only served to create a deeper root of insecurity. I put a lot of pressure on myself to look a certain way, to do certain things – performance more than genuine, intimate connection.

If someone could have looked inside my heart, they would have seen a grieving young girl that grew into a grieving, love-starved woman.  As years progressed, I became more and more broken.  I became what I thought I was worth.

If we don’t value ourselves. No one else will either.

I also possessed a lot of self-sabotaging behaviors.  It all came down to me feeling not good enough, so I’d engage in behaviors that were sure to prove my theory true.

At some point anger set in as well.  I was mad about how I’d been treated, about the things certain people said or did. There were deep scars that served to scream at me. Unworthy! Unlovable! Not enough!

I was raped at a party and disassociated from the memory for a long time, even though I had attempted suicide because of that incident.  There’s a cumulative effect of life’s trials. All the layers of mine had added up to despair.  I was in a relationship with a “good guy”, but after the rape incident, my body and my mind couldn’t carry the weight of it all.

I sabotaged the relationship, because of the depths of depression I was sinking in.  It was suffocating, and I wouldn’t have been able to even tell you why.  Only my journals revealed the truth. Years later, when I read the words I’d written long before my eyes could handle reading them, I sighed a sigh of relief. Somehow, things began to make sense.  Not crazy. Deeply wounded and in need of God’s loving, healing hands that never hurt. His embrace always sweet. Pure. Innocent. Love.  Good intentions from the day He created you and me in our mother’s wombs.

Another journal from 3rd grade revealed inappropriate adult attention from a neighbor.  I wasn’t sure if my mind was making it up and reading too much into the words I saw in my “little girl” journal. I was able to verify through someone else who also spent a lot of time with this individual that he had done inappropriate things to us both.  As sad as that made me feel for the little girl who used to be me, I was grateful for the puzzle piece to my story.

When we’re ready for the details, they can bring clarity and relief.  These insights can’t be rushed or provoked. I believe it’s all in God’s good timing. He shows up as truth mixed with love when we have the capacity to see it, to process it without being undone because of it.

As part of my story, I had an abortion. The unknown trauma that decision caused me came to light a number of years ago (and decades after my decision) when God brought me through a healing journey. I received His forgiveness and was given the opportunity to grieve the loss of my child. I’m glad eternity is long. Time will give us the chance to get to know one another while worshipping Jesus together.

God is merciful to forgive repentant hearts from things we may think are beyond His reach.  Even more beautiful? His grace takes our worst sin and works it together for our good.  Sharing about my bad decision has helped others to make a good one. Each child’s life saved because sharing of story is a picture of God’s grace. It’s LAVISH, my friends!

Sex used to be my misguided attempt to give and receive love. I really had no concept of what genuine, sacrificial, Christ-shaped love looked like. I thought if I used my body to appeal to men they would love me.  Instead, I was so often left feeling unloved and rejected (even if the relationship were longer). I came to believe my worth and value to a man was calculated by how I made him feel.

This and probably a scroll’s worth of sin I brought into my marriage.

My life has shaped me, but it doesn’t define me.  Christ does!  For you too. Nothing you have done, nothing that has been done to you, is beyond His redemption.

His blood covers my sin and shame. In fact, He blows those things to smithereens. It’s one of the reasons I’m genuinely grateful to God for what He has done in my life.  His grace is the only reason I can write about my past without feeling condemned by it.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.─Ephesians 4:32

I have been forgiven much. I had to forgive much. God’s grace helped (and helps) me to not only extend forgiveness but receive it as well.  When you have spent a large chunk of your life feeling unworthy, Christ’s grace makes sure you believe you are.  Worthy of forgiveness. Worthy of love. Worthy of His time and undivided attention. Worthy of so much more than what we think or imagine.

He wants us to run to Him with our wounds, to rest secure in His arms.  He is Counselor. He is Physician. He is Friend.  He is our Husband. As children of God, we are His bride.

When you have a past as bumpy as the road I’ve travelled, the only way to feel worthy of the beauty and grace that is God and all He has for us is by losing ourselves in His immense love.  If you’ve never experienced the love of God, I pray you are open enough to the idea of Him to receive it. He is Beautiful. Pure. True. Untainted.

He gives us power and strength to peer into our past for the purpose of a bright, beautiful, and hopeful future.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”─Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

Even if you don’t believe you are worthy, even if you don’t believe those words could be true for you, if you have only a morsel of hope and belief they are true for you, that is enough. I pray God grows your belief into the fullness of reality that you are worthy. Valuable. Priceless and treasured.

I know this is possible, because He took this once broken woman and gave me a hope for my future. My life is good, pure, sweet and true, because I’m following the One who is Good, Pure, Sweet and True.  He brings peace, and love, healing, and redemption.

He makes all things beautiful in their time.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.─Ecclesiastes 3:11 NIV

Friends, we can’t fathom the goodness God desires to give us here on earth and for all eternity.

He does give us glimpses.

God gave me a new vision of love and marriage when He brought Sam into my life.  From my past and the way I used to create favor with men, God didn’t allow me to use those tactics.  He wanted Sam and I to do things differently. I’m so grateful for that!

Because Sam and I weren’t relying on physical intimacy, we created genuine intimacy. I do believe other than God, he knows me best. He knows me better than anyone else ever has.  And sometimes he even knows me better than I know myself.

Because we didn’t rely on physical intimacy, I had no choice but to use new tools (mostly a dependency on God to help me walk out a Christian relationship). I prayed God would help me. And He did. And He does.

When there have been challenges Sam and I have had to navigate, as are inevitable in life, we have a strong foundation. Our relationship is built on Christ, the solid rock on which we stand. From that vantage point, His loving hand strengthens and encourages us to continue forward in this loving one another well thing. Really. Truly. Deeply. Flawed and imperfect, but genuine and real. My mask is off. I’m me and I hope he always feels he can be Sam.  In the world we might not always be able to wear our heart on our sleeve, but I hope with one another we always will.

Merriam Webster’s definition of intimacy says intimacy is:

  1. marked by a warm friendship developing through long association
  2. suggesting informal warmth or privacy
  3. engaged in, involving, or marked by sex or sexual relations

In aggregate, these make for a brilliant, wonderful marriage. We need friendship first through long association. Friendship isn’t confused by physicality and endorphins.  Friendship says, “I see you for who you really are. I like you. I like spending time with you. It could be anything, really, as long as we are together.”

Genuine intimacy also requires warmth and privacy. In a marital bond with Christ leading and guiding, there is a genuine caring and concern. Because Christ lives in us, we possess His nature. He is love. He is trustworthy. He is safe. As husbands and wives, we need to be that for one another.  If there has been a breach in trust for any reason, seek to make restoration. Seek forgiveness or seek God to give it to your spouse. It’s not easy. But it’s possible.  Trust is built over time, through long association. Little by little, brick by brick, the house Love builds can withstand life’s storms.

While God calls me to share openly and vulnerably sometimes (to help others and to bring deeper healing to me), Sam is most often made aware of my heart long, long before I write or speak about a topic. Sam is kind. He is tender. He holds my hurts and heart gently. Over the course of our long association I have learned I can trust him. At first it felt monumental to share pieces of me and my story, like cliff diving into an unknown sea. Now it feels safe to share with Sam.  I can be in my jammies armed with a box of Kleenex, looking a hot mess and know that his heart is for me.

Honestly, the physical nature of our relationship is hardest for me. There’s much hurt and brokenness there on my part, distortion of what is pure, lovely, and true.

God created sex. Satan tainted it.  God has grown me to look at sex more through His eyes. At first it was a lot of the “thou shalt nots” being given─not from a distant, dictating God. Guidance given from a loving Father who only wants what’s best for me.

If you don’t know Him or just need reminding,

God wants what’s best for you!

For awhile, I had a hard time distancing myself from memories I didn’t want to linger.  I didn’t want reminders of those experiences determined to try to define me.  The enemy loved to torment me with those thoughts and doubts. But God brought deliverance and freedom. Years in God’s Word.  Years in the school of the Holy Spirit, being comforted by Him and reassured there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. Receiving His love and healing. Helping others. These all served to set me free.

Christ gave me freedom. And when I need reminding, He gives me freedom. Sometimes he brings me to new depths of freedom, each time less to hinder me.  Growth in the soil of God’s goodness.

God helps me to experience sex as intimacy, not as an act.  Acting I was good at. Intimacy I’m growing to become good at. It doesn’t happen over night, it happens in increments.  Imagine a bucket on the beach. Little by little you fill it with sand. Eventually it is full. Eventually it overflows. Intimacy is like that.

If you have a story like mine, intimacy isn’t easy.   But it if you have a story like mine and God is in the equation, intimacy is possible.

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”─Matthew 19:26 NIV

Jesus looks at you.

Jesus looks at you and says, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Lord, help each person whose eyes read this to fear not, to know that You are with them. Help them to be not dismayed. Help them to know You. Strengthen each one. Help them and uphold them with Your righteous right hand.  In Jesus’ name, amen!

“Fear not, for I am with you;

Be not dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you,

Yes, I will help you,

I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

─Isaiah 41:10 NKJV

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Signature Image: Tracy Stella

 

Categories // Blooming in Marriage, Forgiveness, Freedom, Friendship, How to Love When It's Hard, Tracy Stella's Perspective Tags // abortion, beauty, Depression, Ecclesiastes 3:11, Ephesians 4:32, forgiveness, Freedom, Friendship, Grace, healing, hope, Intimacy, Isaiah 41:10, Jeremiah 29:11, Love, marriage, Matthew 19:26, Mercy, Purity, Rape, Redemption, Revelation, Safe, Safety, Sexual Trauma, sin, Suicide, Trust, Worth, Worthy

What don’t you know that could hurt you?

08.28.2018 by Donna Wright //

This month we’re looking at protection provided to us when we recognize the truth, rather than hide in darkness and denial. When we’re too afraid to face truth, the hidden things can (and do) hurt us. We’re honored here at Facets of Faith to have Donna Wright share a personal and vulnerable piece of her story. We pray God uses it powerfully in your life as you read it, or in the life of someone you know and love as you share it with him or her. Thank you, Donna, for your contribution to this month’s topic. More importantly, thank you for your courage to share. We know God will honor your bravery and bless you. We also know He will use your piece to minister to His kids’ hearts and minds. Without further ado, here’s Donna’s story.

Have you ever wondered how what you don’t know could hurt you?  I have. I was recently asked that very question to write this article for Facets of Faith. So I began to pray about it and ask God what was that something I don’t know that could hurt me? I thought during this time of so many people committing suicide, not knowing the truth was something that could hurt you.

What You Don't Know (yellow), GuestAll my life, almost 60 years, I have battled with this thought in my head that I am unworthy. I am no good. I do not belong here. No one cares whether I live or die. If I had chosen to believe this about myself, I would not be here today.  I would have taken my life when these thoughts started to attack my brain around the time I turned 13.

I met fear when I was just a small child. I do not know the exact date and time, just that I grew up with a daddy that drank too much alcohol. A daddy that came home late at night and yelled and screamed and beat my mommy.  My child’s heart disappeared before I was ten years old. I accepted a responsibility that was not mine to take on. I had to be the protector of my little brother and sister as we huddled together in our bed and listened to the drunken rages of a man who terrorized us night after night.

This fear has stayed a close friend most of my life. When I first heard the song Fear is a Liar by Zach Williams, I praised God because that song describes the truth about fear.

God says in His word “Do not be afraid” or “Fear not” 103 times in the King James Version. This means to me that this is a truth. This truth triumphs over whatever fear has to say to me. So as I pondered this thought more and thought about my life and how it was, I learned “The Truth” around age 21. I was battling fear of the future─what and who I would become. I feared no one loved me, no one cared, and I had no hope.  There was no point in going on. Yet “The Truth” would not let me go on in unbelief. The Lord sent a couple to my house who shared their story with me, how they had met the Lord Jesus Christ, how He loved them, and how He died on a cross just for them.  He provided a hope and a future I could believe in─if only I would ask Him to come into my life and forgive me.

That very night I prayed to a God I had heard about in Sunday school, a God who a pastor dedicated me to when I was an infant, a God who declares in His word He would “never leave me nor forsake me” Deuteronomy 31:6  I made a choice that night to listen to a new voice, not the one of fear anymore, but the word of God. Had I not chosen that night to follow Jesus and instead chosen to follow fear, I would have taken my life right then and there. End of the story!

However, I did not let fear win that night. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I praise God for His Son who died on a cross for each of us so that “The Truth” now lives in me. By giving access to Jesus, He gave the Holy Spirit to live in me. I am never alone.  I no longer fight the battle against fear alone. I have the Holy Spirit who tells me I am victorious. No matter what fear has to say, no matter what the circumstances, I now belong to Jesus Christ.

My story continues, I went on in life to get married, have three children and now have grandchildren.  The story of my life has not been easy or pleasant at times. God does not promise that we will not have trials and tribulations in life, but that we will for His sake.   In Isaiah 40:31 “But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] will gain new strength and renew their power; They will lift up their wings [and rise up close to God] like eagles [rising toward the sun]; They will run and not become weary, They will walk and not grow tired.” 

I am so grateful to our God that I learned the truth.  I pray for all our youth and for those who have not found this truth. The Lord brings workers into the field for the harvest is ripe. We need to share with everyone there is hope for a future, and life is worth living. Fear lurks trying to take as many people as it can, telling men, woman and children there is no hope. Fear tells them they are unworthy to be on this earth, there is a better way if they die. I am here to tell you that is a LIE. Fear is a liar! There is always hope. There is always acceptance. There is always love in God the Father of us all! John 14:6 Jesus said unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man comes unto the Father, but by me.

Join the conversation over at Facets of Faith. We’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic!

Categories // Guest Perspectives, Truth and Denial Tags // addiction, fear, hope, lies, Salvation, Suicide, truth

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