Facets of Faith

Conversations about life, faith, and friendship.

Can I Trust God When I Want to Be a ‘Fraidy Cat?

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This month the FACETS team stares fear in the face as we explore how God meets us in the midst of our ‘Fraidy Cat moments. We explore what it means to trust God and choose faith over the fear that wants to keep each one of us from fulfilling all God has for us. Check back over the next few weeks to see what Jennifer, Kim, and our special guest have to say on the topic. We all have to face fear, so I pray you learn something new that proves helpful on your own faith journey as you check back in each week.

Have you ever had to wait on something for a long time? Fear sets in when hope gets hard from too much waiting. We wonder if that thing we’ve been waiting on will ever come to pass.

It’s hard to hang onto hope when we’ve been clinging to it for a protracted period. If we were an anchor, barnacles would cover the hope lingering in our hearts. Hardly recognizable, the hope we once clung to not easily seen. It’s there, but it takes effort as we scrape the barnacles off, borrow brave, and keep eyes fixed on God and His promises.

Isn’t the question we’re really asking: Can I trust God while He has me in the wait?

I used to be extremely impatient and impulsive. Getting to my goal ─fast─ used to be my motto. Waiting wasn’t in my vocabulary.

My desire to achieve deeply rooted in fear. I feared I wasn’t good enough, so I had to excel – at everything – in order to matter for anything.  I wrestled with who I was and wondered if that (then) young woman was genuinely good for anything. I feared not. So I faked it. Hard! I thought no one knew how afraid I was. My guess now is, many people probably were well aware.

Isn’t it obvious when someone’s trying too hard?

Funny how fearing becoming a big flop became a self-fulfilling prophesy. I encountered hard times in my life, that turned out to be the best thing that ever happened.

Failure helped me come to know my Father. And in failing, I learned to fear it less. Don’t get me wrong, failing wasn’t fun. It was painful. But in the pain, there was purpose. I learned to make peace with myself. I learned who I am and how God made me. Through failure I learned I could pick myself up and try again.

God was at the helm of my life, scraping off years of rust from sitting in salt water, crustaceans eating away at the purest parts of who God made me to be. It took time. If you’ve ever restored anything, you know that’s generally the case. In time God showed me purpose. He continues to do so.

God’s always working, refining and purifying. He’s not in a hurry. And I’ve learned to be in a hurry less. If we rush the Artist, we’re likely to muddle up the masterpiece He’s working out in us.

I’ve become much more patient with myself as I’ve grown in Christ. It’s another gift God has given as I’ve journeyed with Him in the faith.  I pray He grows that grace gift in you as well, to be kind and patient with yourself.

At first, it felt like I was learning a foreign language. Unfamiliar. I wasn’t sure how to be patient with myself. The fear factor would rear and I’d go back to familiar patterns of performance. I’m more aware. I can see it sooner now and return to center – with Christ at the helm – making me brave where I once was full of fear.

These words whisper to you too, “Be patient with yourself. It’s a process. Learning to wait well takes time.”

And in that time, we also get to cuddle up with Christ. Being patient, we grow to rely on God more. It’s less about what we can do, and more about what He does as we give up control to the One who knows what He’s doing! He’s not going to make a mistake, and He’ll certainly help us make far fewer ones, even as He allows us to make some so we can learn and grow.

Time gives us opportunity to know Jesus better than we would have had we rushed the process. Time also gives us opportunity to know ourselves better. We become more certain of who we are, how God made us, and confident He made us good (even if imperfect).

It takes a bit of courage to believe God is up to something good in our lives (even when we can’t see it).  We are braver for all His barnacle scraping, because He’s giving us strong glimpses of what He really has in store for you and me.

Wait patiently for the LORD.

Be brave and courageous.

Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.

~ Psalm 27:14 NLT

In the patient quiet with the Lord as He continues to help me be still, I noticed something new in Psalm 27:14 which I hadn’t seen before. Sandwiched between wait patiently were the words brave and courageous.

Wait patiently for the LORD.

Be brave and courageous.

Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.

~ Psalm 27:14 NLT (emphasis added)

As the words brave and courageous jumped off the page, the Lord impressed these words upon my heart:

“Patience, the antithesis of fear.”

When we are patient and wait for the Lord, we exhibit great bravery.

When we are patient and wait for the Lord, we demonstrate courage.

In our grab-and-go world, we could succumb to fear, wondering whether the one thing we’ve been waiting for will ever come to pass or just pass us by.  We could take control and take things into our own hands – out of fear we’re not enough, or worse, out of fear God is not enough. We could think we are the master craftsman of our lives, in control of where our ship is sailing and let the fraidy cat inside of each of us win.

Or we could choose to wait patiently. Trust God. Trust His character, and that He’s doing something in ours if there’s a divine delay. Or perhaps He’s teaching us a new thing as was the case with me.

Antithesis isn’t in my everyday language. I felt led to look it up in the dictionary.

In its simplest form, antithesis means opposite.

Patience is the opposite of fear.

There’s another interesting definition of antithesis, rhethoric. The placing of a sentence or one of its parts against another to which it is opposed to form a balanced contrast of ideas, as in “Give me liberty or give me death.”

As I read that definition, another word jumped into my head. Juxtapose. Again, I had a vague knowledge of what the word meant, but felt like I was on a bit of a treasure hunt at this point.

According to dictionary.com, juxtapose means to place close together or side by side, especially for comparison or contrast.

Why the vocabulary lesson? Through language I don’t use in my everyday conversation, I realized God was speaking to me. He taught me a new way to hear His voice. Because I wasn’t in a hurry. Because I slowed down enough to be curious as a cat and let Him speak to me, I heard what was on His heart.

Brave and courageous juxtaposed on the pages of Scripture with great intention. Perhaps we are being the bravest version of ourselves when we wait patiently and cling to the hope we have in Christ and claim every promise He has given us in His Word.

Wait patiently for the LORD.

Be brave and courageous.

Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.

~ Psalm 27:14 NLT

When the wait is hard and fear wants to grab ‘hold of your heart, remember sweet child of God that you are brave. Brave women of God wait patiently. Brave women of God realize they have nothing to prove. Christ did that on a cross for you and me, so cuddle up with Him and let Him show you how brave you are while you wait patiently.

Fear says, “It’s never going to happen.”

God says, “Time will tell.”

I pray God silences the voice that taunts with fear and that God meets you in the wait as He shows you the peace, power, and preparation of abiding in His presence.

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

An Interview on Marriage

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It’s guest week here at Facets of Faith and I’m (Kim) excited to share with you two of my dear friends, Cathy and Kevin Woodside. I’ve known Cathy for several years now and when the topic of how God helps us bloom through our marriages, I knew you needed to hear their story. My husband and I recently had dinner with them so we could learn more and share it with you. And if you missed our previous stories, check out Tracy‘s, Jen’s, and my posts by clicking on our names. Enjoy!

I sat across from the couple eager for their story. There was an air about them, a comfortableness and camaraderie that could only be birthed through adversity and rooted in hope.

Married for almost 22 years, I knew Cathy and Kevin Woodside had a story to share, I just didn’t know all the details. Listening to them settle in, it’d be easy to assume their lives have always been this way: encouraging, uplifting, respectful, and just downright fun.

But apparently what I saw as my husband and I enjoyed dinner with them recently wasn’t always descriptive of their marriage. In fact, when they first met Cathy was already married and Kevin was a self-described punk.

“I couldn’t stand him,” Cathy laughed, now clearly adoring her husband. Kevin and her first husband met on the job and became fast friends. Years passed, Kevin married, and it wasn’t unusual for the two couples to hang out and socialize.

But over time, each marriage ended though their friendship continued. The need for playdates kept them in touch. Eventually, they started dating.

Cathy set the stage for that season of their relationship. “I wanted to be rescued. I was tired of taking care of problems. I looked at Kevin, not fully sure of how I felt about him. But I knew he was strong and could take care of things.”

Kevin saw that. He knew she longed to be rescued but he didn’t want to do the saving. He didn’t believe that was the right way to begin a second marriage. The two ended their relationship and a year passed before they spoke.

Reflecting on that year Cathy said, “God gave me that time to decide not that I needed Kevin, but that I wanted him.” They eventually started talking again.

I asked Kevin what changed. “What changed? I was crazy about her. And I recognized that she didn’t need to be rescued anymore.”

A search for a new home for Cathy and her kids led them to buying a bigger house, one suitable to blend their families. But after the wedding, something flipped in Cathy. Afraid to be vulnerable and with deep wounds still festering from her first marriage, she began to push Kevin away. She became controlling and argumentative until one day Kevin told her, “I just feel like you don’t love me.”

Even years later, the residual pain from Kevin’s observation was evident as she shared. “That’s when God really started to take over. He helped me realize if there was an obstacle, I would need to behave like a good godly wife even if the feelings weren’t there.”

About that same time, God was speaking to Kevin. “I just needed to give her the benefit of the doubt,” he said. “The Holy Spirit was at work, giving me discernment to see that her anger came from a place of pain and the crap of her first marriage. I knew it wasn’t her, but I didn’t have an answer.”

For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.” Isaiah 43:19, NLT

This was the moment I waited for – that moment of . . . “but yet God”. That moment when the destruction and devastation turns something ugly into something beautiful because that is the work of God. Redemption. Healing. Restoration. I already saw the beauty in their marriage and in them individually, and this was the turning point. The surrender. The release. The trust.

See, God has come to save me. I will trust in him and not be afraid. The Lord God is my strength and my song; he has given me victory.” Isaiah 12:2, NLT

Through the gift of their youngest son, the community they experienced through a christian youth theater, and the wooing of the Holy Spirit, Kevin and Cathy were stirred awake through the gift of transformational faith. As Cathy watched Kevin be a dad and experienced his unconditional love, her feelings began to change as her heart softened toward her husband. She fell in love with him. Not the Hollywood, stars-in-the-eyes kind of love, though I saw her eyes twinkle every time she looked at him. No, this was a love rooted in truth and hope, grounded in Jesus, the kind that stands firm in the face of adversity.

But while things had begun to change, there was still one crucial element needed for their marriage to bloom. While serving at their church, Kevin was approached by the leadership to see if they’d be interested in leading a marriage ministry. He chuckled. “Did they really know what our marriage was like?” After spending time in prayer and not wanting to disappoint his wife, they said yes. “This was the first time I felt that God really needed to show up, otherwise everything would fail. It was beyond me.” And God did show up, just as He always had. And it was good, Kevin said, from the very beginning.

Cathy believes that “God honored our commitment to be obedient without any expectations in return. He did his part and I did mine. It felt like we got in God’s boat and were resolved to see it through. God is such a redeemer that everything that has happened – all of the brokenness – has been used for good. Those thoughts were not us. Stick it out, behave like a godly wife. . . who does that?”

Only God.

Only God takes two broken people and creates not only a beautiful flower, but transforms brokenness into a beautiful garden as He uses their love story to encourage others.

“We get it. There’s hope for you. I love him more every single day. If you would’ve asked me during those first years of marriage if I’d ever feel this way, I’d say no. But God redeems everything.”

But then I will win her back once again. I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there. I will return her vineyards to her and transform the Valley of Trouble into a gateway of hope.” Hosea 2:14-15a, NLT

Have you experienced God’s transformational power in your marriage? Join the conversation by sharing a comment below or over on our Facebook page.

Resurrection Power: Jesus, Life, and All of Us

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Have you read our first posts this month yet? You simply must! Tracy shared two beautiful posts, an introduction and her own response, to help our readers think about the question: how does God’s resurrection power change the way you live? Don’t forget to look for Kim’s post next week!

Of all the questions we’ve explored, this one has been the most challenging and exciting for me. You see, I (Jennifer) had a neatly-ordered worldview and a simple paradigm—or so I thought. Then what I knew shifted slightly and kind of went “Kerplunk!” into a new place. I’m making what feels like a feeble attempt at sharing what I’ve been learning. And in “Jen fashion,” I’ll ask you to walk this curvy road with me and check out the scenery along the way.

The shift began when I heard a song on the radio. You may know Jeremy Camp’s Same Power. I struggled with the chorus for a while, and I wasn’t exactly sure why:

The same power that rose Jesus from the grave
The same power that commands the dead to wake
Lives in us, lives in us
The same power that moves mountains when He speaks
The same power that can calm a raging sea
Lives in us, lives in us
He lives in us, lives in us ¹

My first question was “Where did that lyric come from anyway?” Then I suppose I thought a life filled with that kind of power was reserved for the Disciples, Apostles, and super-Christians. After all, I had never moved a mountain, calmed a sea, or been part of any other radical, miraculous thing with a word. Maybe I assumed my life story disqualified me from witnessing God doing those things or being used by him in that way. If I get honest, I probably thought the Creator of the universe was far removed from creation or just didn’t do those kinds of things anymore. At a certain level I wondered about the strength of my faith, the way I lived it, and the real identity and character of God. Have you been there? (Some call this mindset “practical atheism.”)

I was a little “off base” in my thinking. I’ll tell you about that, but it’s a bit of a long story. Can you bear with me?

What I Knew
A day came when I realized a righteous, holy God’s mere presence would overwhelm and annihilate imperfection. Who is full of imperfection? Me! I, like many, made a decision to pray to Jesus and ask for his sacrifice on the cross to be applied to my life. Jesus, of course, would certainly say yes to that!

Then a group study of the book of Romans wrecked me—in a good way!

What I Learned
There’s something emotional in realizing there are only two kinds of people on the planet. It’s hard to accept that there are black-and-white things when we prefer choice, flexibility, and comfortable shades of gray. But if the Bible is true, there are people who do not yet identify with God and Jesus’ death on the cross and resurrection and those who do. That’s it. For Christians, this probably doesn’t sound revolutionary, but let’s be clear about one thing: identifying with is not just knowing about.

The Shift
It happened when a Bible study group asked a simple question: What is it that separates these two groups of people in the world? I thought I knew what placed someone in the family of God: if you could point to a date on the calendar when you prayed “the prayer,” you were “in.”

My paradigm rattled when we studied the life of Abraham in Romans, Hebrews, and Genesis. Wonderful books, teaching, and discussion filled in some gaps. Did you know Abraham never prayed the prayer of salvation? Intuitively I knew that, but I never paused to think more about the fact that he “believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness” (Romans 4:3). That’s the source of the resurrection power! Do you see it?

Let me translate this for our day—God said, “I will make a way for you to come to Me.” Jesus was that way on the cross. His perfectly sinless life as a man and the Son of God paid for every sin. But he is more powerful than death. Sin and death has no claim to a perfect, sinless God-man. And so the Son of God can and does rise in unstoppable power, leaving an empty tomb!

So what do you say to that? It’s simple. God says, “I will.” The response is, “I believe.” Nothing more can be added to that. Our best behavior doesn’t change this moment, and our worst doesn’t either. We don’t clean up our act in order to look more attractive to a Holy God. We can’t do it. Remember: we are sin until we believe. We believe, and we identify with Jesus’ resurrection. Friend, there’s a reason the Early Church was full of “believers” and called “The Way.” And here we are—at the only way.

This is where my “Kerplunk!” happened. The gospel was flexible, in my mind. There were people on a spectrum (even me). I was on my way to a “closer relationship” with God, and so was everyone around me. There’s nothing dangerous about a spectrum, right? But, there are those who have Jesus advocating for them and those who do not yet have that. (Now I’ll begin to cry.)

8 “Those whose lives are in the flesh are unable to please God. 9 You, however, are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, since the Spirit of God lives in you.” (Romans 8:8-9).

I don’t know which group you’re in. Maybe you don’t either. I don’t know about you, but I had to wrestle with this at one point. Have you? How will our lives be different when we are one of God’s people? Where is that resurrection power, you ask?

10 Now if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. 11 And if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead lives in you, then He who raised Christ from the dead will also bring your mortal bodies to life through His Spirit who lives in you. Romans 8:10-11

What does that mean for me (and you) for the rest of our lives here and in eternity (where all of us will be one day)? Our choice to believe provides a resurrection-powered life here and forever!

Blessed and holy is the one who shares in the first resurrection! The second death has no power over these  Revelation 20:6 CSB

Blessed and holy—one of God’s people. And for that reason—

I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection   Philippians 3:10a NIV

I want everyone else to know it. So many people will remain outside the church, not part of God’s people—and that’s a whole other life now and eternity waiting. I don’t want that for anyone!

And how will that be done? Noticing people, hearing their stories, and then speaking truthfully and lovingly (something I’m asking God to help me with!).

Now we have this treasure in clay jars, so that this extraordinary power may be from God and not from us. 2 Corinthians 4:7

Friend, I can’t thank you enough for hanging with me. You’re precious if you’re still reading! I just wrote down all the words—and there were still more. Thank you for being gracious. I think you’ve just read an indication of the change in my life just now. The display of the power will have to wait for another post. *grin*

Consider starting a conversation here or at our Facebook Page. This is a conversation worth having. What are you thinking right now?

 

Signature, Jennifer Howe

 

 

 

 

 

 

¹ Same Power. Jason Ingram and Jeremy Camp.