Trust Archives – Page 5 of 5

When the Shadow of Fear Looms

07.19.2016 by Kim Findlay //

This month we’ve been answering the question “how has God changed my perspective about an issue”. Tracy and Jen shared their stories earlier this month. You do not want to miss them so click on their names and check out how God shifted their perspective on two very personal issues.

I have lived much of my life battling one thing: fear.

When I was little, fear took the shape of typical childhood distress. Fear of the dark. Fear of being lost. Fear of losing my mom or dad.

As I grew, some of those fears remained in my childhood while others shifted into the shadows, lurking close enough to incite anxiety but far enough to remain elusive, unidentifiable.

I didn’t always know I struggled with fear. Early on it wore different faces: moving cross-country; making new friends; starting new schools; the darkness of our basement; moving out of my parents’ home with a newborn baby; uncertainty and distress after the Oklahoma City bombings; blending a family of five after a debilitating stroke struck my first husband; adding a sixth member to our floundering family.

During those years I rationalized my feelings and disregarded their strength. Fear lurked in every corner of my heart, threatened any sense of peace and security yet I was convinced if I just tried harder, served God more, and did all the right things, those feelings would dissipate in absolute trust. After all, doesn’t the Bible tell us not to be afraid, supposedly offering one verse for every day of the year? So if I felt afraid, if I allowed fear to dig its roots into my soul, did I not trust God? Had I lost my faith?

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious righthand.” Isaiah 41:10, NLT

I believe Scripture is true. All of it. I believe when God tells us not to be afraid, we’re not to be afraid. But what I struggled to understand, what I’m still wrestling through: what happens when I do feel afraid? When fear steps creeps out of the shadows and looms large? Because it happens. A lot.

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7, NLT

March 2, 2005. My greatest nightmare, my biggest fear, became my most devastating reality as fire destroyed our home and death snatch away the life one of my children. Fear no longer lurked in the shadows but became as real as the air I breathed.

So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before the. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deuteronomy 31:6, NLT

I could no longer pretend fear had not been a constant companion. I could no longer deny its existence. I watched its shadow creep over the precious face of my little girl as I stood on the brink of allowing fear to consume me, erasing any existence of God, any truth I thought I believed.

Yet as I stared at my greatest fear, as I look it square in its eye and grabbed it by its shoulders, a greater truth began to take shape. A truth I had heard but was only beginning to understand.

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:12, NLT

Fear is a feeling, a very real and legitimate feeling given to us as a means of protection. As I stood on my driveway as my house burned, the fear I felt was real and appropriate.

But sometimes it seems bigger and feels even stronger because the unseen world twists and corrupts. That’s the goal, after all: to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10a). The battle is real and fear can be an effective weapon.

Fears are distorted into the what-if’s and what-might-be’s. What if fire strikes again? What if my spouse chooses to leave me? What if something happens to my child? What if I can’t make the bills this month? Scripture calls those fears “worry” and challenges us to determine their usefulness (Matthew 6:27-30). All they do is snatch away our joy, our peace, and sometimes even our relationships.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7, NLT

What do we do when fear creeps in? How can we respond?

I’m learning to bring my fear to Him. Every. Single. One. I’m learning that He doesn’t taunt me or ridicule me. He won’t condemn or make fun of me. As those feelings creep up my spine and grip my heart, I’m learning to cry out and invite Him in, to call on His name and be reminded of His power, power that is stronger than any fear.

Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear.” 1 John 4:18a, NLT

He’s changing my perceptive. He’s opening my eyes to see His true character, who He is and how He cares for me, the truth that He loves me and knows everything about me (Psalm 139), including each fear I face.

The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.” Exodus 14:14, NLT

I’m learning that while fear lurks in the shadows of this broken and fallen world, I don’t have to face it on my own. Nor do you. We can safely and confidently press in to the One who loves us so much that He fought death on our behalf . . . and won.

Wait patiently for the Lord. Be strong and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.” Psalm 27:14, NLT

“For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17, NLT

What issue do you believe God is wanting to shift for you? Join the conversation and share in the comments or over on our Facebook page.

Twelve Minutes to Faith

03.15.2016 by Kim Findlay //

Faith. I don’t know where I (Kim) would be if it weren’t for my faith. Perhaps breath would no longer fill my lungs nor might my life be defined by hope. I certainly would have missed the story of redemption woven throughout the broken threads of my life. Broken threads I never thought would be made whole again, let alone woven into something so breathtakingly intricate and beautiful.

And all it took was twelve minutes. Twelve minutes plus a lifetime.

I remember the day I pulled into my driveway and stared in shock at the sight before me.

Smoke. Pouring from my home.

I’d just returned to retrieve something I needed for work. I was only gone twelve minutes.

Twelve minutes that forever changed my life. Twelve minutes that altered the course of my life, my heart, and my faith.

And somewhere within those twelve minutes, my greatest fear became my most tragic reality as my youngest daughter took her last breath.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11, NLT

I grew up knowing Jesus. I made a decision to follow Jesus when I was eight. I began teaching Sunday School when I was fourteen, and by the time I was twenty-eight I was on staff at a church leading children’s ministry. Faith was not only a way of life, it was my life.

When I was eight, my mom and dad gave me my first Bible. As I entered high school, I graduated from the little kids bible to one specifically designed for students. Written in my mom’s beautifully scripted hand on the inside cover was a verse that guides my life.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6, NIV

Trust was crucial for me growing up. I knew I could trust my parents; they were always with me. I knew I could trust God; the Bible told me so. Maybe it was the number of moves we’d done by the time I was eight, or perhaps it was the fear that seemed to follow me everywhere I went, but somehow fear grew bigger than my ability to trust.

Fear of the unknown.

Fear of rejection.

Fear of failure.

Fear of loss.

I’m not exactly sure where the fear first grabbed hold but I often felt its tentacles wrap around my soul, squeezing out any sense of calm, of peace, of comfort.

My biggest fear was death. I remember standing next to my parents’ bed in the middle of the night as a young child, sobbing in fear as remnants of a nightmare slowly trickled away. A nightmare where one of my parents died and left me behind.

As years passed and I became a mom, my fear shifted from losing my parents to that of losing a child. Deep fear. Real fear. Fear that sometimes faded as I learned to trust in the One who is bigger, stronger, and more powerful but sometimes reared its ugly head.

That beautifully scripted verse often came to mind. I thought if I trusted God enough, he would make my path straight. He would keep my family safe and my life free from death and loss.

Right?

Then came that fateful day with those twelve minutes. Twelve minutes where death stormed into my life and snatched away my precious Emma. My greatest fear now became my reality.

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1, NIV

Perhaps as you’re reading your own fears are bubbling to the surface. Perhaps it’s not losing a child but losing a spouse, or feeling like you’re not enough and one day you fear someone might agree with you. Perhaps you, too, have stared death in the face through the eyes of your mom or a sibling and you silently scream, “me, too!”

Lean in here, precious one. Lean in close as I whisper this to you . . .

Faith is not about believing God enough so bad things don’t happen. Faith is believing that when those bad things happen, God is enough. He does not change. His love does not end. Neither will His grace or mercy or compassion (Ephesians 3:17-19).

Faith is believing that what Scripture says about God’s character is true, that His ways are higher than we can imagine (Isaiah 55:9), and He will do immeasurably more than we might every imagine (Ephesians 3:20). Good things. Eternity-changing things.

Faith is saying yes to God’s plan even though your heart breaks and life hurts because you believe He is working all things for good (Romans 8:28). Somehow. Someway. Faith is believing nothing separates us from God, from His love or grace or protection (Romans 8:38-39).

That’s what twelve minutes taught me about faith, faith that draws me close to my loving Father no matter what may come my way. Twelve minutes plus a lifetime of faith.

How Is My Life Different Because Of My Faith?

03.01.2016 by Tracy Stella //

If there is one thing I (Tracy) have learned about my faith it’s this: God’s faithfulness helped grow it. He took me from a place of despair and called me to believe—to believe in Him. He asked me to trust Him, a difficult task in the beginning. Others had broken my trust. Would God too?

Much later I would learn and agree with George Mueller’s words: “I say—and say it deliberately—trials, obstacles, difficulties, and sometimes defeats, are the very food of faith.”¹

Difficult circumstances led me to seek the Lord. My life added up to one miserable equation. Home sweet home demolished by a bomb that set off a chain reaction. I didn’t think I could withstand it. I wanted to throw in the towel and proclaim, “Game over”!

But God threw me a lifeline instead.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”—Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

One of my first big acts of faith was this: to believe there was something to hope for in my future. Circumstances said give up. God wanted me to keep going. Would I believe God and His Word when hope felt beyond my reach?

Hope feels brave when there’s no basis to believe it.

It is much more difficult to walk in faith those first early steps. I didn’t yet have years of God’s faithfulness to reflect upon.

Those first steps toward my hopeful future felt like they were taking me to the edge of a cliff. No parachute to help me glide to safety. What if faith stretched me so far out of my comfort zone I landed somewhere I didn’t want to be? Then what?

The “X” which marked the safe drop zone seemed far off. I couldn’t see it.

Faith has nothing to do with probabilities. The providence of faith begins where probabilities cease and sight and sense fail.¹

My life is much different because of faith. Somehow, seemingly impossible, here I sit enthroned with a crown of righteousness. The mere belief of righteousness in the face of my own sin an act of faith as well.

But that’s where faith gains traction. When we know we have right standing with God … that’s a game changer!

Right standing with God gives liberty to live our lives as God intended. We’re able to toss off all that hinders and stand with our head held high where once our eyes averted. If our eyes aren’t focused on what God sees, we’re focusing on the wrong image.

God shows me what He sees in me in a tender, merciful fashion. Faith has taught me that.

I have courage where I once held cowardice.

Because God is who He says He is, I can be brave enough to look my sin square in the face and deal with it. Before faith was forged in me, I’d never done that. Now I know if He asks me to peer into my sinful nature, it’s for my own good, and faith says, “Trust God. He is gentle in His reprimand when we are genuine in our repentance.”

I couldn’t change what I was unwilling to look at. Once I did (and do), I received deliverance. Sin no longer hidden brings freedom from what hinders.

Faith has given me courage to dream again. I have a beautiful life. It’s not without its difficulties, but God has shown me faith floods our lives with blessings too. He carries me from one adventure to another, and it’s so much fun. Contrary to what some in the world might think, faith is not boring. It is adrenalin filled when we are full of possibilities in Christ.

There are times in my life when I wonder What on earth am I doing and how did I get here? Walking by faith can lead us to some amazing places. It requires obedience to get to that spot God marks out for us. “X. Right here, My daughter.” Obedience isn’t always easy (even if it should be), but it gets easier the longer we walk in faith.

Beyond all those benefits of faith (and I know there are many I haven’t mentioned) God has shown me He was so very faithful to His promise from Jeremiah 29:11. He has given me a future far beyond anything I could have imagined.

Faith has helped me take bold action based on God’s wisdom. His power encourages me to do more with what He’s given. Not striving. In His strength, I carry out my calling.

Gone is the cowardly woman who often roared because of pain in her depths. In her place sits a lioness rising into her calling more each day. Today, I find myself stepping into a mission to penetrate the darkness.

Faith has brought me to a place where I will be fighting for God’s daughters against the oppression of human trafficking. I would never have thought I would be sent on that mission. But then again, that’s what faith can do.

Join the conversation. How has God asked you to step out in faith? How is God asking you to respond to His call to faith today? How will your life be different when you do?

¹Mueller, George, and A. Sims. George Mueller: Man of Faith. Eugene: Wipf and Stock Publishers, 2005.