Who Needs the Royal Treatment?

05.05.2020 by Tracy Stella //

Welcome to FACETS of Faith dear one! I pray you are well and that you are prepared to hear what God has placed on each one of our hearts as we discuss the need for the royal treatment. I’m excited to see how God uses our words to shape us into the women we are destined to become. I felt led to write about beauty treatments this month. In a time when I’m longing to see my stylist (roots anyone?), some are wishing they could have their nails done, and women want their beauty supplies, it’s kind of funny that God placed this message on my heart well in advance of needing my moisturizer but not being able to purchase any! Small problems in the big scheme of things, I know. I’m merely making an observation that will make sense as you read.

Have you ever desired the royal treatment ─ to be pampered and well taken care of? Does an afternoon at the spa sound invigorating? Perhaps a day when someone else takes care of all the household or workplace responsibilities feels in order. Who is going to take care of you (and me), after all? Have you ever wondered, “Why am I called to be the responsible one?” Have you ever felt that way? “What about me? What about me? What about me? Who is going to take care of me?”

What if there is more to the royal treatment than self-indulgence? What if there is great purpose when we appropriately use every royal treatment we are given? What if the royal treatment is about far more than how it benefits us?

Daughter of the King, how is God calling you to use the royal treatment He has given you to extend it to someone else?

One of my very favorite books in the bible is Esther. Before we get too far down the path, let’s remind ourselves Esther was a woman much like you and me. She’s not a fictional character; she was a woman with great godly character.

She wasn’t born a superhero, but she arose as one. (More about that later.)

Esther had fears and concerns much like you and me when we feel called into situations bigger than us. Daunting circumstances open doors of doubt. Stepping forward boldly in spite of fear demonstrates great courage. But how did she get there?

King Xerxes expelled his former queen. She would not honor his request to come to him and his subjects. He was drunk on wine (7 days drunk), and so were his advisors. King Xerxes’ pride and counsel from his inner circle abolished Queen Vashti from her position.

The king’s advisors were more concerned about how Queen Vashti’s perceived disrespect would impact the treatment they received from their wives. The advisors weren’t thinking of the king’s best interest. They were thinking of their own. A good side note: be careful whose counsel you listen to.

It was no secret throughout the kingdom what had happened to Queen Vashti. Unless you were living under a regal rock, you would have known she was removed from her royal position.

Think about any pop star fall from fame; that’s what we’re looking at. If People magazine were a thing back then, Queen Vashti’s face would have been plastered all over the cover. The headline may have read:

Disobedient Queen Dumped

Nothing secret about this demotion. Not. One. Thing. If you were in the kingdom, you knew about it.

Enter the young girl Esther.

The king grew lonely and his personal attendants advised him to gather all the virgins throughout all the provinces, place them under the care of the king’s eunuch Hegai, and give them royal beauty treatments.

Then the king’s personal attendants proposed, “Let a search be made for beautiful young virgins for the king. …Let them be placed under the care of Hegai, the king’s eunuch, who is in charge of the women; and let beauty treatments be given to them. Then let the young woman who pleases the king be queen instead of Vashti.” This advice appealed to the king, and he followed it.─Esther 2:3-4 NIV

Of course, it pleased the king, am I right ladies? As a woman in the modern era, this can be a bit maddening to read, especially if you are unfamiliar with the entirety of Esther’s story. But hang in there with me. It gets better. I promise!

Esther was rounded up with all the other beautiful women throughout the kingdom. She didn’t choose this fate, yet somehow, she found herself in a beauty contest to win the king’s attention. If she didn’t, she’d be a woman in a sea of the king’s harem.

I imagine Esther had dreams of her own that probably never involved the king. But if given the choice between holding a position of honor over that of just another face in the harem, wouldn’t it be better to be in a position to help shape the culture of the kingdom?

We women have great influence after all. Wasn’t that what the advisors were so concerned about with the former Queen Vashti?

When we have position in life, there is opportunity for influence. How we use it matters.

Before a young woman’s turn came to go in to King Xerxes, she had to complete twelve months of beauty treatments prescribed for the women, six months with oil of myrrh and six with perfumes and cosmetics. ─ Esther 2:12 NIV

Esther didn’t have a choice in the matter. She had to complete twelve months of beauty treatments.

But what if those beauty treatments weren’t really about beauty treatments at all?

Think about how isolated and alone Esther must have felt over the course of those twelve months. You can be in a sea of people yet feel completely alone. She was outside of her comfortable home setting. She had lost her daily routine and her family advisors speaking into her life. She was in this dreadful competition. Imagine the jealousies and insecurities on display with the royal crown at stake. I envision some pretty bad behavior by some. Esther’s time isn’t so different than ours. Competition can create cruelty. (This is me imagining at least a little of what harem life might have been like.)

Let’s vow not to act in a spirit of competition with our sisters in Christ. It’s one way we can let our light shine brilliantly. When we are cheerleaders in the kingdom for one another, we all rise a little higher. Let’s celebrate our sisters!

But you can bet that probably wasn’t the world Esther was living in, with the crown and all that came with it up for grabs.

What if the isolation Esther faced was more about preparation?

There have been plenty of times when God has pulled me away from the hustle and bustle of life. It can feel lonely and quiet, but I have learned over time to recognize those instances as His time for divine preparation, to equip me, for what He has next.

Even now in our quarantine, I am reminded of this for myself and for you. What is God preparing you for?

In times of separation and isolation, there is preparation.

Even Jesus did this when He separated Himself from the disciples to pray and seek the Father’s will. (But I digress.)

When the king’s order and edict had been proclaimed, many young women were brought to the citadel of Susa and put under the care of Hegai. Esther also was taken to the king’s palace and entrusted to Hegai, who had charge of the harem. She pleased him and won his favor. Immediately he provided her with her beauty treatments and special food. He assigned to her seven female attendants selected from the king’s palace and moved her and her attendants into the best place in the harem. ─ Esther 2:8-9 NIV

Yes, Esther was away from her family, but already she was walking in the favor of the Lord. She was assigned to the best place in the harem. She may not have been able to choose her fate, but she was experiencing God’s blessings in the midst of a difficult circumstance.

Again, I think of our current quarantine. It can feel hard, like a fate we’d rather not choose. None of us would have volunteered for these circumstances, yet here we find ourselves.

What has been beautiful to watch is how many have made the best of a difficult situation. You can see God’s favor in their lives, favor in the form of joy, hope, and gratitude. Personally, I have seen God’s provision and peace and He’s even brought laughter and joy. There was a moment of despair on my part, but then I heard God’s sweet, reassuring voice, and I somehow knew everything was going to be okay.

Lock down isn’t perfect, but it’s perfecting us.

I wonder what God whispered to Esther’s heart as she was quarantined for 12 months of beauty preparation.

In times of separation and isolation, there is preparation.

Sometimes these times of separation show us how we’ve ALREADY been prepared. God’s in the business of preparing us, even when we don’t think we’re being prepared. (Can I get an amen?)

Mordecai had a cousin named Hadassah, whom he had brought up because she had neither father nor mother. This young woman, who was also known as Esther, had a lovely figure and was beautiful. Mordecai had taken her as his own daughter when her father and mother died. ─ Esther 2:7 NIV

Esther’s loss of her parents created in her someone different than she would have been had they still been alive. That kind of loss shapes someone. Yet, she had an amazing family member step into her life in a sacrificial, loving fashion. You can see that dynamic play out through the book of Esther. You realize how much Esther respects Mordecai when we see her act on his counsel (and thank goodness she did). As we see Mordecai’s actions and character play out, we understand why. (Read the book of Esther. You’ll see what I mean.)

So, while Esther’s circumstances were not ideal, the trials she faced helped her to stare down twelve months of royal beauty treatments in a contest to win the king’s choice award.

If you are anything like me, times of adversity have forged your character. Difficult times deliver us into our destiny if we allow the Lord to use them to do so.

I read something pretty amazing the other day about trauma.

We have come to recognize that our past can either define us or refine us. Those who are refined by their trauma, who truly end up being better off, are experiencing what scientific literature calls posttraumatic growth. Everyone’s heard of posttraumatic stress disorder, but posttraumatic growth is when people actually use their hardship as a springboard and a catalyst to improve their lives.1

Fascinating! Posttraumatic growth. Pause on that thought for a good, long while.

Posttraumatic growth is possible if we choose it. Do you want to know in what context the above quote came from? Assisting sex trafficking survivors! Those engaged with helping survivors with their healing have studied what most helps these women and men succeed after incredible trauma. The answer is simple and hard all at the same time.

Posttraumatic growth occurred because of each ones’ conscious choice to survive and thrive.

We can let our past define or refine us. We choose.

Esther could have played the victim. People would have understood. But that’s not what she chose to do. In grief’s separation, loneliness, and isolation, she allowed grief to prepare her for her divine purpose. She didn’t have to have awareness of that truth for it to BE true.

That’s a good word for us all!

Whatever life’s tragedies and triumphs, they are all preparation for our kingdom purpose. We don’t have to be aware of our preparation for it to do its work. Hindsight often shows us where that has taken place without us ever having a hint it was happening.

In times of separation and isolation, there is preparation.

I imagine Esther wasn’t as demanding as other women in the king’s collection. She wasn’t high maintenance, expecting everyone to cater to her. No. I think her humility won her favor with Hegai, the king’s eunuch. And because she had favor with Hegai, she ultimately gained favor with the king himself.

(Esther) pleased (Hegai) and won his favor. Immediately he provided her with her beauty treatments and special food…. He moved her and her attendants into the best place in the harem. ─ Esther 2:9 NIV (clarification added)

Esther, just being Esther, won favor. Humility and kindness make a woman more beautiful.

I do imagine Esther being kind, not acting in any kind of entitled way. We later see that.

When the turn came for Esther (the young woman Mordecai had adopted, the daughter of his uncle Abihail) to go to the king, she asked for nothing other than what Hegai, the king’s eunuch who was in charge of the harem, suggested. And Esther won favor of everyone who saw her. ─ Esther 2:15 NIV

Esther didn’t have to fight for what she needed. She wisely listened to Hegai for his insight into what was best. Because she did, she walked in everyone’s favor. She WON favor of everyone who saw her. Wisdom and humility open doors we cannot. Such a great lesson for us all.

Who wouldn’t want to win favor versus having to fight for it at every turn? We can learn a lot from our sister Esther!

Esther had not revealed her nationality and family background, because Mordecai had forbidden her to do so. Every day he walked back and forth near the courtyard of the harem to find out how Esther was and what was happening to her. ─ Esther 2:10-11 NIV

What’s obvious here is Mordecai’s great concern and care for his cousin Esther. While she was separated and alone, he forbid Esther to talk about her heritage. Mordecai showed great regard for Esther’s well-being. He knew her status as a Jew could cause difficulty in her circumstances.

But do you want to know what’s even more awesome about this withholding of information?

The Lord was preparing a way to safety for Esther and every Jew throughout the kingdom. They didn’t know it yet, but the Lord was well aware that during Esther’s time of separation and isolation there was preparation …. So that an entire group of people could walk free in spite of the king’s decree to kill every Jew in every citadel.

How many times has the Lord prepared you for a future season you didn’t see coming? It’s only in reflecting back that we are able to make sense of it and see God’s hand at work in our life all along. Those are faith bolstering moments!

But Esther had kept secret her family background and nationality just as Mordecai had told her to do, for she continued to follow Mordecai’s instructions as she had done when he was bringing her up. ─ Esther 2:20 NIV

Esther had been prepared her whole life for her calling. She’d been given wise instruction from Mordecai as he raised her, and he continued to have great influence. He could speak into her life in a way that made impact on her actions and for a nation.

When Esther’s words were reported to Mordecai, he sent back this answer: “Do not think that because you are in the king’s house you alone of all the Jews will escape. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” ─ Esther 4:12-14 NIV

That’s speaking the truth in love right there! Being on the receiving end of both truth and love is absolutely part of our preparation.

You see, there was an edict (a law) that was issued by the king to kill and annihilate all the Jews. Esther was fearful to approach the king. Doing so without his calling her to him could have meant her death. Understandably, she was afraid. But Mordecai did not coddle her. He gave her a challenge instead.

And she accepted it.

Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: “Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.” ─ Esther 4:15-16 NIV

She prepared through fasting and prayer, and asked others to join her in doing so.

She put together a plan to approach the king.

She was strategic.

She was patient and deliberate.

You can see a woman using great restraint as she carried out her divine purpose.

And because she did, the Jews were saved.

On this day the enemies of the Jews had hoped to overpower them, but now the tables were turned and the Jews got the upper hand over those who hated them. ─ Esther 9:1b NIV

While it had looked like defeat for the Jews was surely at hand, one woman’s courage changed many people’s fate. Esther was made for this moment! Her preparation saved a nation.

Not only that, her cousin Mordecai was promoted to a position of great influence as well.

Mordecai was prominent in the palace; his reputation spread throughout the provinces, and he became more and more powerful. ─ Esther 9:4 NIV

Because Esther allowed her times of separation and isolation to prepare her, it paved the way for those who’d previously helped her to receive promotion. Mordecai’s wisdom in Esther’s life was expanded to shape that of a nation.

Mordecai the Jew was second in rank to King Xerxes, preeminent among the Jews, and held in high esteem by his many fellow Jews, because he worked for the good of his people and spoke for the welfare of all the Jews. ─ Esther 10:3 NIV

Because a man like Mordecai raised Esther it paved the way for her to see him interact with others as he worked for their good. He prepared her by the way he raised her to work for the good of her people.

Leadership can sometimes feel lonely and a little separated, but Esther was prepared for it. It was her destiny.

Ultimately, she walked in FULL AUTHORITY as God’s daughter, destined to do great things. (Esther 10:29)

It’s your destiny too, friend.

What is God calling you to? Receive His “royal beauty treatments” in times of isolation and separation. It’s part of your preparation for you and all those whom you love.

It’s your destiny.

Remember, times of separation and isolation are for our preparation if we choose to let them.

Let them!

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. ─ Ephesians 2:10 NIV (emphasis added)

“And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” ─ Esther 4:14b

…hardships are what cause us to learn what’s really in us. If we quit, we miss the chance to discover what we’re capable of.1

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

1 Cooley, Ben. Relentless Pursuit, Fuel Your Passion and Fulfill Your Mission. David C Cook, 2019.

Out of Thankfulness, How Do You Serve?

11.05.2019 by Tracy Stella //

Dear friends, welcome to FACETS of Faith! We pray you are blessed with a word from God each time you visit. We pray you hear His heart for you as you read. We also pray for prompt obedience if He places something on your heart. We have much to be thankful for even when we don’t always see it. I pray we see what God has done and is doing in our lives and that we take action on His instruction each time He asks. Let the lives we lead be a fragrant aroma to Him that smells sweeter and more savory than any Thanksgiving meal we will ever partake in. In Jesus’ name, amen!

Imagine travelling for months to an unknown, but hopeful destination. You made the bold decision to pick up your roots and reestablish yourself elsewhere. Now that the world wasn’t flat, you were flat out ready for an adventure. The decision felt right, so you moved forward. However, you didn’t fully calculate the cost.

Oh, you knew how much the trip across the ocean cost financially. You just hadn’t counted on weather and disease wreaking havoc the way it did along the way. You didn’t anticipate the stormy weather driving rain and cold to the center of your core. Once cold there aren’t enough socks and blankets to soak the chill from the marrow of your bones.

Right about now is when you start to doubt your decision-making ability. What was I thinking? Was I crazy to embark on this adventure? What might I lose because I followed my heart into this thing? I thought I heard from God. Was I wrong?

This is very likely what many of the settlers felt who crossed an ocean to see what God had in store for them. Many of them came for religious freedom. Some came for adventure. Others came for a fresh, new start.

Sacrifice may have been a bigger piece of the equation than any of them planned for. How could they really understand the magnitude of what this journey would cost? They’d never done it before. They were risk takers. They were courageous. But they couldn’t see into the future, even as they tried to plan for it. Even if they weren’t naïve, it would have been impossible for them to anticipate every obstacle ahead.

“Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’─Luke 14:28-30 NIV

Have you ever been there? Where you forgot to count the cost? Or you thought you had, but you needed to count a little longer and a lot higher? I’m with you, sister. I’ve done it too! Even when I thought I weighed my decisions, prayed on them, sought after God’s heart, will, and ways I underestimated what would be needed. Somehow things cost a lot more heart, time, energy, and stamina than we expected.

Truth be told, I think sometimes God doesn’t let us see all it will cost. Heck, none of us would get up off the couch and do anything good for God if He told us, So and so is going to be extremely rude when you are trying to help them. Or This one will slander you, but be nice to them anyhow. Or perhaps you’ll be called to walk alongside a prickly, unloving person. Maybe God will literally ask you to give a financial gift stretching you outside your comfort zone.

You get the point. If God’s intention is to grow us (hint: it is!), He might keep a bit of the struggle out of our sight while we’re stepping into His plan for our lives.

I have absolutely been here. I know I heard from God. He told me it was going to be hard (He just didn’t say HOW HARD!)

So why on earth would we step into something we KNOW is going to be a challenge? We’ve calculated the cost, and we’ve even budgeted for things to cost more than we think, because that would be the wise order of things.

Why? What’s the motivation?

Those settlers who embarked upon their life’s most difficult adventure didn’t know their situation was going to get just a bit more challenging once they anchored close to shore.

They were in unfamiliar territory. And the weather was just about to change. Winter. None of us likes winter. At all. Oh, I’m not talking about the weather now. I’m talking about those seasons where we wonder, where are You God?

The people nearly starved to death. Some did.

Life can be extremely harsh at times. Winter seasons are difficult to weather well. Spiritually, we need to prepare ourselves for that. In our vibrant, blooming seasons it’s important we store those experiences in our hearts and minds as encouragement for the future.

Even when life is hard, never forget God’s got victory just around the corner. Some choose defeat, not knowing God has deliverance around the next bend. Let’s take heart and tune into what God tells us in His Word so we weather the storm well.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”─John 16:33 NIV (emphasis mine)

There will be trouble this side of heaven.

But the optimist in me says, sometimes it will also be extravagantly beautiful. Full of hope. Vitality. Life to the full! The Scripture above reminds us God has overcome the world. We know that, but in times of trouble, it’s powerful to speak this Scripture out loud with the full authority you’ve been given as a daughter of Christ.

Write it on the tablet of your heart. Literally, write it down on an index card and carry it with you. Remind yourself that you are made for VICTORY!

Jesus overcame the world (John 13:33b). In His name, you can too!

Again, Jesus tells us a thing or two about what this life is to look like.

“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”─John 10:10b NIV (emphasis mine)

TO THE FULL. He died so we could live the fullest life possible. I’m not talking about travelling around the world and doing whatever we want, when we want. There’s nothing the matter with travelling. There’s nothing the matter with taking time for ourselves to refresh our spirit. (Even Jesus did that, and He commands us to rest as well.)

What I am saying is He also calls us to serve sacrificially. He led by example. God still leads by example.

We love Him because He first loved us.─1 John 4:19 NKJV

We don’t love Him because we are so awesome. We love Him because He showed us how. (But you are awesome, by the way. You’re fearfully and wonderfully made. But you get my point. We wouldn’t even know what love IS if He hadn’t given us experiences of His love in the first place.)

Remember those early settlers of the States? How did God love them? They’d sacrificed much and experienced great loss.

God sent them practical help from the people who already lived there. The Indians knew how to survive on this land that we call home. They shared ideas and taught the pilgrims how to make it through harsh conditions. And when all was said and done, they celebrated the harvest. Together. (Sadly, we know this camaraderie and unity didn’t last, but that’s for a different piece.)

For now, let’s talk about the harvest. It’s one of my favorite biblical principles, because we all want to know we make a difference somehow. If I’m investing time, money, gifts and attention to something, I definitely hope and pray there will be a harvest. I know we don’t always get to see the harvest, but sometimes we do. That is such an encouragement. Our sacrifice was not in vain. God wrung every ounce of good out of it to bring life to the full for those He asked us to help. And maybe we are a gift He is giving to someone else because someone invested in us first.

I think about my friend who invited me to church and kept inviting me. Because she included me in her life and invited me into her world, I now know the love of Jesus. And because I know the love of Jesus, I can now love others. I get to. But that wouldn’t have happened (at least when it did) if my friend hadn’t invited me to walk through the doors of the church reassuring me the building wouldn’t collapse around me because, man, was I a s-i-n-n-e-r! I didn’t know back then that we are all s-i-n-n-e-r-s in need of God’s grace. Every one of us!

What does all this have to do with serving God out of thankfulness? Let’s hear from Jesus again as He talks to Simon…and to us.

“Jesus said to him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.”

“Oh? Tell me.”

“Two men were in debt to a banker. One owed five hundred silver pieces, the other fifty. Neither of them could pay up, and so the banker cancelled both debts. Which of the two would be more grateful?”

Simon answered, “I suppose the one who was forgiven the most.”

“That’s right,” said Jesus. Then turning to the woman, but speaking to Simon, he said, “Do you see this woman? I came to your home; you provided no water for my feet, but she rained tears on my feet and dried them with her hair. You gave me no greeting, but from the time I arrived she hasn’t quit kissing my feet. You provided nothing for freshening up, but she has soothed my feet with perfume. Impressive, isn’t it? She was forgiven many, many sins, and so she is very, very grateful. If the forgiveness is minimal, the gratitude is minimal.”─Luke 7:40-47 MSG

What if we were women so grateful to God for all He has given us that we served others like she served Jesus? What if we’re really serving Jesus when we do?

She was emotionally invested and used whatever she had to sacrificially serve the Lord. She celebrated Him! She was glad He was in her life and her actions showed it!

What would our world look life if we stopped trying to impress others and instead impressed God?

What would happen in your heart if you overheard the Lord talking about you in this fashion?

Look at her. Look at what she’s doing for the kingdom. Look at what she’s doing for Me, because she knows what love looks like. She is a student of Love. Look at how well she receives my love and serves out of the overflow. She hasn’t forgotten what I did for her. She remembers what life was like before she surrendered to Me. Impressive isn’t it? Many will forget and move on with life. However, she took to heart all I taught her. I’ll keep interceding on her behalf so she can continue. Even when it’s hard.

God made you for impressive things, beautiful one. Are you doing them? Not in some striving, slaving fashion. Rather, out of the overflow of His love and grace, glistening from the glow of His anointing.

Shine!

Out of thankfulness we serve. We serve with our whole heart. We serve because we were shown how. We serve because that’s why we’re here. Otherwise, God would have taken us to heaven already. For now, He needs us. He needs us to remember all He has done for us. He needs us to respond, to roll up our sleeves and say, “Yes, Lord. Send me.”

Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”

And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”─Isaiah 6:8 NIV

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.

How Do You Go Through Change?

05.01.2018 by Tracy Stella //

Welcome to Facet’s and this month’s question: How do you go through change? We thought we’d infuse a little humor on the topic with our image selection. Sometimes, a little levity helps when change is on the horizon.

Change happens whether we want it or not. Ultimately, navigating change determines where we wind up.

If we map out our course and cooperate with God, we’ll get to where He intends much quicker. If we resist change, we get mired down in muck. Our resistance causes us to work much harder to get where we’re going. Perhaps we’ll never wind up where God meant for us to be.

Maybe we won’t completely miss our intended destination, but we’ll miss out on some of the good God desperately wants to give us.

It’s a powerful motivator─the thought of missing God’s best, because we can’t (or won’t) let go of what used to be. If He has to pry our fingers from the past, it’ll take a whole lot longer to fill our hands with the good things He desires to place in them. Each season is fresh and alive with possibility if we’ll embrace it.

Even some of the hard circumstances in life have possibility. Enduring. Getting through and crossing to the other side of that difficult time has the great reward of intimacy with the Lord if we are willing to “go there” and be real and raw and personal with Him.

On the other side we also see the strength of our spiritual muscle. What faith, perseverance, love, and hope formed in that dark time of desperate trial can do in one woman’s or man’s life. It’s part of our story. It’s part of what we share with others. It’s part of what will minister so very deeply to those who don’t yet know Jesus or have just gotten acquainted with Him. It can make people curious enough to be just the least bit receptive to the good news.

I’m speaking from personal experience. I’ve had dark times. But God’s love illuminated my life and continues to do so. We all have hard things we have to go through. None of us gets an immunization from difficulty.

How we deal with difficulty determines our destiny.

I’ve witnessed the tragedy of people not letting go of the former things, a lack of willingness to press into the new things God has for them.

A delay in receiving God’s goodness breaks my heart when I see it. I want nothing more than for the person to grab hold of God’s hand and walk with Him, stretching and growing, not screaming and kicking. I know His ways don’t always make sense to us. There have been times I’ve been completely confused myself.

That’s when I ask for Him to show me what He’s doing. Where are we going? What’s this about? I try not to ask “why”. Why doesn’t really matter much. The answer to that question isn’t going to bring me anywhere. Instead, I want to go through. So I pray. I ask for His help. I seek His comfort. I let Him minister to the broken places in my heart. I let Him renew my mind. Sometimes, my thoughts need changing, reshaping. The things I once thought so certain, God shows me otherwise. He softens my heart. He shows me things through His Word and every day people who He is and how much He loves me─always, but especially when circumstances make it appear and feel otherwise.

Those are some of the sweetest, more pure moments between me and God. Tears slip down my cheek, not in sadness but due to His sweetness as He comforts me in a way only He can.

When I see people unwilling to let go of what was and go through change with God’s help, I want to say, “Just cooperate. It’ll be okay! Let go of those old, false beliefs. Lean in. Listen. Let Him help you! He will! Stop fighting! Relax in His loving arms. There’s peace there. Comfort. Adventure and bliss. Yes, life is a battle. Sometimes it’s hard. When it is, let Him help. Let Him help. Let Him help. Let Him help.”

Victim mentality doesn’t bring victory. The blood of Jesus does.

The alternative to walking with God through change? People become jaded. Bitter. Scars jagged, rough to the touch. Maybe can’t be touched. Like a porcupine, prickly so people start avoiding you. It might make you feel safe, but it’s a prison really. A prison of personal pain that doesn’t have to be. We have choice. We can choose to embrace change. Like a little girl who can’t get pried from her daddy’s arms after a nightmare, cling to the process of change. One day you’ll be surprised to wake up and find the nightmare has ended. Sun streams in the bedroom window, light pure as the white sheers letting in the sun’s rays. Dreams good. Hopeful. And dare I say, happy.

In God’s love, mercy and grace, I wake up to those sun rays warming my face and wonder how did I get here to this good, hopeful, dare I say happy place? Change. Some big. Some gradual. All of it good, because God worked it to be that way.

It’s so over-used, but I don’t even care. It feels appropriate. When life gives you lemons, make some lemonade.

Before you think, you just don’t understand what I’ve been through. Maybe you are right. Maybe I don’t. But Jesus does! I do know I’ve had some lemons tossed my way, and with God’s help we’re making lemonade.

One of those lemons happened late last year. I was so confused as to what God was doing. I couldn’t see how losing a job I loved so much, that felt like I was fulfilling the very reason I was placed on this planet, could ever be good. It was a passion. I was helping women. And, in fact, it was the fulfillment of a vision He’d given me years before. I felt like He’d plunked me there for “such a time as this”. It was a rich season with Him. He was so very present, almost palpable.

Poof! It was gone!

It took a moment to catch my breath. I felt like I’d been pushed out a three-story building and landed hard on my back. Not dead, but the wind knocked out of me.

Whether it was God or satan who removed me from that place, I don’t know. It doesn’t really matter. What does matter is what lies ahead.

Even how we deal with change changes. The one constant if we are going to change well is to change with God. The other details don’t always stay the same. I say that because I’m about to share how God helped me through that time at a relatively fast pace (which is DEFINITELY one of the advantages of cooperating with God sooner rather than later). The more quickly I can get to a place to settle down and hear from God, the faster I can get through those difficult times. And since I don’t like pain, I have a high motivation to get a move on!

1. God comforted me in advance of the change.

If you are in a difficult season, look for how God was showing up in advance of it. Journals are a great source. Reflect on what God was saying or doing before the bottom fell out. What conversations did you have with others in the days and weeks preceding? Look for the clues where Christ was preparing your heart and mind ahead of time.

I was told I was going to receive a gift that would not feel like a gift. (More later about how this loss became─and is becoming─a gift.)

2. God told me to grieve and to reveal His glory through it even as I did.

You see, it’s okay to be sad sometimes. I WAS sad. I had poured my heart and soul into launching the ministry. I knew God was using me to bring deeply traumatized women into places of healing, helping them meet and experience God each day. I knew He’d used me to set up processes, hire and train employees, and just when things were about to be a little easier because all those things were in place, I wouldn’t get to experience the fruits from all that labor. And I wondered how it could happen when God had given me the vision.

I cried a gallon of tears. But I never gave up hope.

Honestly, in the past, it was NOT GRIEVING that used to get me in a whole heap of trouble. Before I was a believer, I’d sweep things under the rug. The only problem with that is sometimes the rug moves and the pain and problems not dealt with are revealed no matter how much we want to hide from them. Better to deal with problems in season.

3. Pray and worship.

Along with my grieving, I prayed. A lot. I listened to worship music incessantly. I couldn’t get enough. As I journaled and processed my pain, God ministered to my soul. If I felt like I was submitting to depression, I’d sing. And sing. And sing. My singing submission to God, knowing He’d see my worship as a sacrifice bringing forth a fragrant aroma. He knows it’s hard to worship when we don’t understand. It’s what makes our worship even sweeter to Him. It’s also what saved me from a spiral of defeat while I was waiting for Him to reveal what was next.

4. Slap shame in the face.

I know that sounds harsh, but so is shame. Don’t take it. Permission to fight back with the truth! Pull out promises and smack the enemy with the truth about who you are and whose you are!

Sometimes, the things we are changing from and through require us to deal with shame. You see, the enemy wanted to bury me with shame and embarrassment. (Even in the writing of this post, he didn’t want me to be real and share, to be vulnerable about what could have been very shameful.)

Again, in God’s goodness, He kept playing a song for me — especially before a couple of significant meetings. I couldn’t escape the song Lions by Skillet. Every time I heard it, it was as if God was saying to me, “Hold your head up. You did nothing wrong. I have something new for you. Be brave little lion.”

Part of what He was doing was redeeming a situation from the past. He was showing me how much I’d grown by walking with Him. While the situation made me sad, it didn’t devastate me. Even something as significant as “losing” what I felt was my calling, couldn’t destroy me or my spirit. That was different from the past. He was showing me I knew and know who I am. His. I am His.

5. Change takes stamina. Sometimes we need to rest before we can run a new race.

God wouldn’t let me move forward until I got some rest. I didn’t realize how exhausted I truly was until I was given the chance to rest. If you know me, you know rest isn’t an easy word for me to embrace. I like to do. To move. To accomplish awesome things with and for God. But if my tank is empty, I’ll go nowhere fast. That’s for all of us. We all need refueling.

I had just left an intense time of ministry that had left me emotionally drained. Working with trauma survivors is no easy task (and without God’s grace – impossible!)

Not only was I emotionally drained, I had spiritual scars. I knew to expect spiritual attack stepping into a ministry that pierced the darkness of human trafficking. Even expecting it, I underestimated it. The battles were intense. Most mornings I was up at 4 or 4:30 praying, spiritually girding myself for the day ahead. It was necessary for my spiritual survival.

Being on guard at that level of intensity, engaging in emotional trauma work which is far more tiring than a vigorous workout, left me limp and exhausted.

Every time I’d ask God, “What do you want me to do?” (Martha, anyone?)

God would say, “Rest.”

Me, always wanting to get going. “What do you want me to do?”

“Rest.”

So, eventually I did. I embraced the idea of rest. I grabbed my blanket and Bible and wrapped myself in rest.

6. Get ready. Change requires us to get ready.

Really, all the above was part of that. On your mark, get set, GO!

7. God is doing a new thing. After all, that’s what change is about.

God started to reveal a new vision. It felt very much like the beginnings of the vision He’d once given me to start a home to help 4 to 6 women in a family setting. You’ll need lots of help, things beyond you. You’ll coordinate many people to help these women. It is beyond you and your individual capacity.

It didn’t make sense back then any more than this new vision God is giving me makes sense. But honestly, it gives me comfort that it doesn’t make sense. Most ideas from God seem that way at first. If it felt easy, I’d think it was my idea. Because it’s ridiculous (in the best of ways), there’s a pretty high likelihood it’s from God.

I may not have all the details exactly right, but He’s casting a vision that brings old and new together. Again, I don’t know all the particulars. I don’t know His timeline. I do know He tends to give me long-range visions, so this could be a ten year plan (or longer).

I don’t know, but I don’t need to know. He’s unfolding the details, enough to get me really excited about the future.

Remember how I’d shared earlier I was told I was going to receive a gift that would not feel like a gift?

I received the gift of rest, grieving, and intimacy with God.

Then, I received the gift of hope and a new dream. God has reassured me He didn’t take from me, but He wants to expand the vision He’d once given me. He has me doing seemingly unrelated things that will come together for more of His glory.

I opened my hands and asked Him to place all of His goodness in them because I love Him. I know He is good. I know He has good things for me, and for the people He places in my circle of influence. He will minister to my heart and He will help me minister to others. If all I ever had in life were good things, I’d never grow.

Last winter when I was planted in the soil of confusion, grief, and rest, God grew me. He’s doing a new thing. And now I’m ready to go.

How is God calling you to change?

Are you ready? On your mark, get set, go!

Oh, and don’t forget to hold your head up. You need to see where you’re going!

Join the conversation here or on our Facebook page.