Who Am I? Archives – Facets of Faith

Welcome to FACETS, friend. I (Jennifer) am so glad you stopped to read on this month’s topic, Who do You (God) say that I am? We’re thinking about our identity through the eyes of God, and the thoughts promise to be rich, personal, and encouraging. You can read Tracy’s thoughts here. We’re holding space for you. The Facets have thoughts to share, but your heart-shares are important to the conversation. Join us?

Who am I?

In elementary school I thought the meaning of my name was everything. Later, I believed what I said, thought, and did defined me. As an adult I introduce myself to others and share sound bites to communicate who I am.

We live in a culture that tries to group, categorize, and “type” everything out there. We describe people with those labels, and we often seek them out.

Female. Survivor. Control freak. Tony’s wife. Two adult sons’ mom. Animal lover. Singer. Writer-editor. Enneagram 5 with balanced wings (looking like a 1 in a tight spot). The rare INTJ combination. Facebook quiz-taker for more specialized personality-type information. (Who doesn’t want to know which character comes up in the Lord of the Rings Meyers-Briggs quiz?) Something down deep says, “Tell me who I am!”

All the wrong places…

We look in strange places for affirmation and clarity, don’t we? I don’t put much weight in the online quizzes but probably give them more time and energy than they deserve. I’m more likely to look to my relationships.

Husband, tell me—am I good enough? Do you still love me after all these years?
Son, I spent so much energy “not being your friend.” Do you still want to spend time with me?
Friend, do you value our time together? Do you value me?
Supervisor, is my work good enough? Am I useful?

These aren’t the exact words, but in quiet moments when I examine my relationships, I feel emotions from thoughts like these surfacing.

The company we keep…

Relationship. We might define ourselves by the company we keep. I always reminded my boys, “You might become who you hang with—” (Proverbs 13:20 ). When I married I worked through an identity shift every time I signed my name (I wrote some goofy hybrid of a letter for weeks every time I got to my last name). Now I was part of the new family my husband and I became. I joined communities of people, too: a church, a neighborhood, a workplace. Because I identified with these people in some kind of personal or professional relationship, my identity had slivers of connection that seemingly belonged to them.

The primary relationship…

Reasons and seasons can shape our friendships and connections. Once upon a time I had long, beautiful conversations with a friend nearly every day, and then life stages and availability changed things. Once upon a time feels very far away some days. Do you have a relationship like that? A little faded but precious nonetheless? The reason or season we connect can shift, and it can be painful in the “letting go,” right? (So you know, I am *not* a fan of the “for a time” thing when it’s an excuse to relieve brokenness in a relationship!)

Know what I know? There is only one (1!) relationship that transcends all reasons and seasons: the completely loving, sacrificial, adoption into to our heavenly Father’s family through Jesus’ death and resurrection and the moment-by-moment counsel and partnership with His Spirit. If this is permanence both here and in eternity, I’m in! By this adoption, I know my identity changes significantly forever.

I am…

When I humbly come to the throne of the King of the universe as a daughter, the relationship to the all-powerful, all-knowing, ever-present, merciful, and gracious God—Whew! Think about THAT!—I’m identified with and by Him!

He says I am—

But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it—the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus Romans 2:21-24

But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God John 1:12

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth…For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. John 1:14, 16

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser…I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:1, 5

No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. John 15:15

“But when the Helper comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth, who proceeds from the Father, he will bear witness about me. John 15:26

I don’t know if you see a “John 15” theme here, but I do. That’s one place in Scripture where we can find golden nuggets that call out the goodness of God in relationship to Him. There are so many places, though! The Word of God specifically expresses the heart, mind, and will of God. Drink it in, friend! Regularly.

Fill the Void

We should fill that identity void with the richness of our relationship to our Father, the Creator and King of the universe, the God with us and within us. (Mmm—that beautiful Trinity that our God is! That’s how He gives all of Himself to us!) We are refined and defined by our relationship to Him.

What do you think about that? I might cry when I begin to get a small glimpse or grasp of it all. You, too? Share below or at our Facebook page.

Ponder this:
Where do you look to define your identity?
Who or what tells you who you are—really?
Which relationship speaks the loudest to your mind and heart about your identity?
How do you know who’s telling you who you are?
Do you know (and believe!) who you are in God’s eyes?

Hi friends, 2018 is moving fast! Soon we’ll land in summer, and spring will be the overlooked middle child in the seasons family. The change from winter to summer is muddled in Illinois. And that brings me to change, the thing my distracted brain was supposed to focus on! Don’t miss Tracy’s thoughts on going through change here. Kim shares next week. Check in Tuesdays or sign up to receive every post so you don’t miss a thang…

Body and Mind Games
I’m about that age. The math gets easy next year when my birth year and the current year end in nines. Night sweats—any-time-of-day sweats, actually—have come and gone. No one would ever guess, they say. The “metallic roots” were obvious (to me). When I stripped the boxed brown out and tinted the bleached blonde underneath to “natural grey,” I didn’t recognize myself in the mirror. I got strange looks from my friends, too. I still lift heavy things in the gym. I tried Brazilian Jiu Jitsu this year, and I was reminded my brain writes checks the body won’t cash. Some changes wrack the body and mind. I’m adjusting (not so willingly).

Who Am I?
As hard as physical changes are, some changes ambush me differently. When my identity or my heart is in the change’s crosshairs, it’s a whole other kind of hard. My life was recently upended kind of like that.

I officially donned the teacher-mom hat in 2005; but really, I’ve been a teacher-mom from the beginning. Once upon a time, it was me and two active little boys in a very organized school room. The older was a learning “sponge” and a lover of books, including the dictionary. The younger was a carpe diem kind of kid, an experiential learner who kept me on my toes. The three of us pursued learning together every weekday.

I poured energy and time into lesson plans, courses, and grading. Life had a rhythm: summer’s dreams crescendoed to the fall kick-off; winter’s cabin fever gave way to spring’s finish line. The promise of exciting summer dreams fueled the late nights before the fall kick-off. Every year.

After nearly 2,100 school days, I’ve taken off the teacher-mom hat. Now that’s a big change!

My little boys grew into young men. Memories of our favorite read-alouds make me cry. (Thanks, Love You Forever and Giving Tree. *sigh*)

Lather, Rinse, Repeat
If you do a thing often enough, the repetition has an effect. As a home schooling mom, I taught. I taught often enough that I believed I was a teacher.

I teach, so I must be a teacher.

Bear with me. I think we can generalize. Try filling in the blank. I _____, so I must be a ______. The problem is, we mistakenly assume an identity in connection with whatever fills the first blank, good or bad. What happens when something changes?

Some changes are wonderful and wanted:

At one time I lied, so I was a liar.

The change was welcome:

I told the truth, so I became a truth-teller.

It gets complicated when the change is surprising, confusing, or incomplete.

I was a teacher, but now—.

Self-examination can be helpful during a big change. If I get it right, it encourages me to put words on the page and keeps me from wasting time hoping for a big break and a recording contract. It may put my unique, God-given strengths and my weaknesses to work. But I’m not the sum of what I do. I need a healthy source of identity; we all do. We need a “sane, stable, and spiritual” identity. A rational, balanced, solid, spiritual identity comes from one source, frankly: God.

It’s in relationship to God, the One who never changes, that we find an unshakable identity.

Who Are You?
When we’re at a loss for words, when we’ve forgotten who we really are, we can run to the source of truth for a solid description of our identity. Can I share some thoughts, “Word weapons” if you will, for when amnesia sets in?

So God created humankind in his own image; in the image of God he created him: male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27 CJB

But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, John 1:12 ESV

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. 1 John 3:1-2 ESV

Do you not know that your body is a sanctuary of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 ESV

But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God’s instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you— 1 Peter 2:9 MSG

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. Colossians 3:1-3 CSB

I love checking myself in the scripture “mirror” rather than the one on my bathroom wall because that image looks like my Jesus. That image represents the welcome change and the help I need in the middle of change. That image isn’t tied to a day of the week, an age, or the people around me.

The verses up there are a smidge of the truth between the covers of a Bible. When I’m going through change, I’m desperate for truths like these. My hope is that we’ll choose to arm ourselves for the mental and emotional battle before we’re in the middle of it.

Let’s ask, “Who am I?” and “Whose am I?” Then answer solidly and sanely from the Source of our identity.

Thanks for reading along. Have you taken time to seek truth from the scripture “mirror” lately? Tell me about your experience. I’m curious!

Who Am I? God, You Say…